Through the Walls

The Game

2005-08-01T12:32:00.000-04:00

Hello friends. The basketball finals have already started here at Coleman. We didn’t play the first round, because since we were second in our conference, we were free. Now we’re playing the second round. The series consists of 3 games and whoever wins two, will go on to the final conference. We lost the first game by two points. We were ahead by twelve and I don’t know how we could lose that game. We were winning the second game, but it got suspended when it started raining. We’ll continue that game this week. I hope we win. I know we’ll win that game.

This is all for now. Greetings to all. Bye.

Sincerely,

Pedro

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Anything You Dream!
Believe that you can, and you will.
Imagine yourself to be the type of person you want to be,
and then be it.
You may have to let go of some bad habits
and develop some more positive ones, but don't give up.......
for it is only in trying and persisting that dreams come true.

Expect changes to occur, and realize that the power
to make these changes comes from within you.
Your thoughts and actions, the way you spend your time,
your choices and decisions determine who you are
and who you will be.

You are capable and worthy of being and doing anything.
You just need the discipline and determination to see it through.
It won't come instantly, and you may backslide from time to time,
but don't give up.

Life is an ever changing process, and nothing is final.
Therefore, each moment and every new day
is a chance to begin anew.
May all your wishes and dreams come true.

(Author: Barbara Cage)

Sharing Anecdotes

2005-07-29T23:35:00.000-04:00

How are you, friends? I hope that you’re all doing great. I’m doing just fine.

It’s so hot lately. It’s incredible! It’s impossible! The heat over here isn’t like in Puerto Rico, for we don’t have much of a breeze in this area. And when I have basketball games, I don’t even wanna play.

Well, thanks for all your support for this blog. I never imagined that I would have so many visitors, even though many times I get behind on my posts.

Over here around 10:00 p.m. at night, we get together in groups to tell each other anecdotes, jokes, and things like that. Many times we just laugh, for there are some things that are hard to believe. There’s a new guy in my unit and he gets together with us as well, but I’ve never heard someone lie so much in so little time. Each time he arrives, sometimes I have to leave, being that I laugh easily and I don’t want him to feel bad. He’s said that he owns 43 trucks; he’s the third major distributor of flowers in the United States; that his parents were owners of the biggest chocolate factory in South America. That he used to travel in motorcycle through all Europe. Sometimes we see him coming and we start talking about any topic and he quickly says he’s had this or that. Yesterday I said that I liked bonsai trees and he said that that was the only thing he had planted in his backyard. There have been different times when I’ve wanted to ask him what he’s doing in prison, because with everything that he has, he shouldn’t have had the need to do anything illegal. That guy is incredible. Before I forget, one of the biggest lies he said were that he has been at the Vatican Library. What do you think about that?

This is all for now. Take care everyone, and see you next time.

Sincerely,

Pedro

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Faith
Faith begins by believing in your heart that what is right has a chance.

Faith is knowing in your heart that good can overcome evil,
that the sun can shine in a rainstorm.

Faith is peaceful and comforting, because it comes from within
where no one can invade your private dreams.

Faith is not something you can demand or command;
it is a result of commitment to belief.

Faith is believing in something you can't see or hear, something deep inside
that only you understand and control.

Faith is trusting in yourself enough to know that no matter
how things turn out, you will make the best of them.

(Author: Beth Fagan Quinn)

Plans for the Future

2005-07-25T19:30:00.000-04:00

My friends, how are you? I hope that you’re doing great. Lately, I’ve been asking myself, or better yet, thinking a lot about what I’ll do when I get out of here. I know that I would like to start my own business and I’ll do everything possible to make it happen. I won’t come back over here. Honestly, it’s not worth it. I’ll never be able to get back all the years I’ve spent in prison. I’ve missed my son’s growing up, not being by my grandpa’s side in his illness, and stuff like that. Being in prison is a waste of time because as much as one studies and learns things, there’s nothing like one’s liberty.

Going back to the subject, first I’m going to Puerto Rico, since over there I know it’ll be easier to realize my goals, for I think that I won’t need as much money as here in the United States to fulfill them. One of my goals is starting a leather business. That is, making leather bags, belts, hats, and sandals. That’s why I’m working very hard on my technique over here. I would also like to start a business installing tiles and floor cleaning business, or even Import and Export, although for the latter I know that much money will be involved, which I don’t have and I will have to make a business plan and present my idea to banks or investors.

As I’ve said before, I know that it will be a bit difficult because many people are afraid of giving opportunities to ex-convicts. If they only knew that the ones who have been convicted of drug crimes have entrepreneurial minds and we’re good in business matters. The only thing is that we wasted our minds doing illegal stuff and earning easy money. We’re natural entrepreneurs. The same way in which we came up with ideas for doing illegal stuff, we could do the same to do legitimate stuff. I only hope I can realize my goals.

Well, until next time. Thanks for your support, keep writing to the blog and leaving your messages, which I truly appreciate.

Your friend,

Pedro

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Look on the Bright Side

When life seems overwhelming
and you can't seem to get
everything done......
When there isn't enough time
to relax and enjoy....
When there is little reward
for all your efforts and
you wonder if it's all worth it,
if this is what life is all about,
and if this is what the future
holds in store....

Try to keep a positive attitude by looking
for the little blessings that happen
every day yet often go unnoticed.
Keep your mind open to humorous situations,
because humor can rescue you
from being overwhelmed.
And never forget that there are people
who love and care about you;
people who want to help and support you
through life's difficult times;
people who think you're pretty special;
people who care a whole lot about you.

(Author: Barbara Cage)

Nicknames and Games

2005-07-22T23:12:00.000-04:00

My friends, how are you? I hope you’re doing alright. I’m doing fine.

The other day over here we were talking about the nicknames some of the inmates have. We laughed some, because some of the nicknames go with each person. Some of the nicknames are: Horse, Frog, Goat, Parrot, Beaver, Donkey, Cat, Calf, Crocodile, Bird, Dove, etc. As you can see, we have a small zoo. There are also others, like Little Gun, Pimplish, Lip, The Mute, Party, Pampers (Diapers), Machine Gun, Danger, Dragon, and I think there a lot more, but I can’t remember right now.

In addition, I was playing basketball and I split my tongue. I forgot to put on the protector. How it hurts every time I eat something salty or hot. Speaking about basketball, I’ve lost some pounds because playing under the hot sun is not easy. From 147 lbs, now I’m at 135 lbs. The same thing always happens to me on basketball season.

Well, this is all for now. Take much care, and thanks for supporting the blog.

Your friend,

Pedro

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Promise Yourself Only the Best

Promise yourself to dream more and hesitate less.
To believe in yourself more and judge yourself less
by the accomplishments of others.
To appreciate your family and friends for all the
wonderful ways they make your life better.
Promise yourself to accept life as it comes
and truly make each day special.
To become more independent
and more willing to change.
To fill your life with special times,
and make your dreams come true.

(Author: Deanna Beisser)

Trips and Visits

2005-07-18T13:35:00.000-04:00

Hello friends. I hope that you’ve been liking my blog, and that the messages are being of help.

Mom comes from Puerto Rico in August. I hope that my grandma can come to visit, for I don’t want her to stay alone. Mom knows how I feel about this. Grandma is already at an advanced age and is always of fragile health. I also have to talk to my aunt to see if she’ll move in with grandma. If they leave my grandma alone, they know that they won’t get from me a single call. My family is not like that. They’ve always been very close, but lately they’ve changed a bit. Maybe it’s my imagination, but that’s what I can sense. When I talked to grandma the last time, she told me that if she could visit, it would be for about five days, but when she comes I’ll try to convince her to stay for a few weeks. We’ll see. Either way, five days or a few weeks, my family will have to arrange who will stay at home with her so she won’t be alone.

Well friends, this is all for now. Until next time. Take much care.

Your friend,

Pedro

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Hang in There

Difficulties arise in the lives of us all.
What is most important is dealing with the hard times,
coping with the changes,and getting through to theother side where the sun is still shining just for you...

It takes a strong person to deal with tough times
and difficult choices.
But you are a strong person. It takes courage.
But you possess the inner courage to see you through.
It takes being an active participant in your life.
But you are in thedriver's seat, and you candetermine the direction you want tomorrow to go in.

Hang in there... and take care to see that you don't losesight of the one thing that is constant, beautiful, and true:Everything will be fine – and it will turn out that waybecause of the special kind of person you are.

So... beginning today and lasting a lifetime through --Hang in there, and don't be afraid to feel like themorning sun is shining... just for you.

(Author: Douglas Pagels)

The Weather...

2005-07-15T21:03:00.000-04:00

How are you? I hope you're doing great. I'm doing fine. It has rained a lot here in Florida! It's unbelievable... the weather here's a bit crazy. In the morning the sun is awful, and suddenly the sky darkens and it starts pouring. Soon it stops and the sun comes out again. The bad thing about these days is that they close the yard and we have to go back to our units. They used to leave the yard open even if it there was rain and thunder, but 2 years ago, a guy was hit by lightning and died. I didn't see the impact, but I did see as they were taking him out in the stretcher and it wasn't a pretty sight.

Well, last night I finish making my mom's purse and it's really pretty. Everyone here liked it. It was somewhat hard to make the edges, for it was an oval shape and it was difficult to sew. I hope she really likes it.

This is all for now. See you later.

Your Friend,

Pedro

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Keep on Believing!

Keep on believing that you have what is needed to make your wish come true.

Keep on thinking positive thoughts,
and remember that you have the ability to do anything.

Find hope inside you to know
that you are a valuable and distinct person –
a person who deserves the best.

Keep on trying.

Accept what you should, change what is worst,
and learn to find comfort and peace inside your heart,
your strength and self-confidence.

Sigue intentando.

Acepta lo que debes, cambia lo que es peor,
y aprende a encontrar amparo y paz dentro de tu corazón,
tu fortaleza y la confianza en tu persona.

Sigue siendo la persona que tú eres –
aquella que dispensa a los que la rodean
esa sensación de consuelo y esperanza.

Sigue creyendo, porque tú mereces la dicha, la paz, la fé,
la esperanza y el amor que estás buscando.

Mereces todos los logros y satisfacciones en todo lo que intentes.

(Autora: Regina Hill)

About Reggaeton

2005-07-11T17:28:00.000-04:00

Hello, friends. It's been so hot these days! I rarely go out of my unit. Tomorrow I have a basketball game, and I don't wish to play. The heat is too humid, and I'm going to have to drink a lot of water.

Reggaeton is getting even more popular. It's unbelievable that it's even playing on american radio stations. To think that in the beginning, no radio station in Puerto Rico wanted to play that music, and politicians wanted to ban it. Now it's the other way around. All radio stations play it, singers from other genres (salsa, merengue, etc.) want to sing with reggeaton artists. I didn't like Reggaeton too much in the beginning, but now I like it too much. Through their songs, they show what they feel and want. Daddy Yankee's one of the artists who has helped internationalize Reggaeton. They even listen to it in Japan. Don Omar, Tego Calderón, Wisin & Yandel, and Ivy Queen's are all great. Only a few of the artists in this genre can be heard here in the US, but in PR there are a lot of singers with much talent.

Well, until next time. I hope you've had a nice Independence Day.

Later.

Your friend,

Pedro

For a Positive Perspective

Don't let sadness get to you; open yourself to happiness.

Don't let your sorrows multiply; confront them one by one.

Organize your time; keep your life as simple as you want it to be.

Don't complain about everything; learn to improve your surroundings and create your world as you wish it should be.

Don't stop after each mistake or disappointments which are on occasions a part of life; learn to otherwise improve the situation.

Be optimistic.

Adopt an energetic and positive attitude in all that you do, and always hope for the best.

Believe in yourself at all times and in every aspect of your life.

Before you realize it, those wonderful dreams you nourished during your whole life will come true, and your life will be the happy and successful life which was always meant to be.

(Author: Ben Daniels)

Changes

2005-07-08T23:36:00.000-04:00

Hello my friends. I hope that you’re all doing great. I’m doing just fine. Well, things have changed a lot in this place, for they have transferred almost everyone. They sent inmates from here to Miami, and the ones from Miami they brought here. It seems that I’m the one who was transferred, since I barely know anyone. Only the ones who stayed behind, who are not too many. What happened was that they sent away everyone who was in Low Security, and they left the ones in Medium Security. They converted this prison into Medium Security only. I imagine that next year they’ll lower mine to Low, and then they’ll transfer me. Although I’d prefer that they wouldn’t and left me here, for this prison is one of the best in the Federal System. The ones who were transferred to Miami have written to me and say that they don’t like it over there.

During this time that I stopped writing, other things happened. One of them was that I had a little problem with one of the guards, although it wasn’t anything serious. What happened was that one Saturday, after the morning count, I went to the guard’s station to turn on the TV’s, for it seems that he forgot to turn them on. The thing is that when I was switching them on, he grabbed me by my wrist, and I got loose from his grip violently, and I started to talk to him somewhat harshly because a guard cannot touch an inmate or vice-versa. I was a bit angry, but I calmed down quickly. Everyone stopped what they were doing to find out what was happening. The guard apologized to me in front of everyone, but I ignored him. I know that it wasn’t right for me to talk to him that way, but he was at fault as well. Everything stayed like that, without any major inconveniences.

Well, see you later.

Pedro

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Blessings

Nothing can prevent nor stop a strong and determined soul in search of health, utility, truth and success.

Have this fact in mind and live according to it, no matter what the world says to the contrary. Fear nothing. You are part of the splendid universe, and you are here to get the best of this stage in life... Every day, look for that which fills you with gratitude and happiness, and you will find it...

Fill your mind and soul with comprehension and joy... and blessing will appear.

(Author: Ella Wheeler Wilcox)

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The happiest people in the world are those who can easily forget their worries... and easily remember their blessings.

(Author: Alin Austin)

Violence in Puerto Rico

2005-07-04T20:04:00.000-04:00

How are you? I hope you’re doing great. Today, I want to talk to you about the violence in my country (Puerto Rico). It’s hard to believe that so many things happen in such a small island. I read an article that some inmates from New York wrote, and I would like for you to read it so you get the idea of what we, the inmates, think about the violence in Puerto Rico.

Advice from an Inmate

My cell-mates and I are surprised after noticing how much violence is growing. Each time there are more jealous husbands who take their wives’ lives. Lately, we have seen how the lives of many “innocent” people have been lost because of the shootings at public places. I’ve also seen how the Puerto Rican youths are killing each other for control of the drug points and silly things. Every day I ask myself the same question, what’s going on with the Puerto Rican youths? It seems that the streets in Puerto Rico are out of control.

Puerto Rican youth, I ask this of you. It’s time that you bring peace to each other already. It’s time that you set your guns aside, and stop killing each other for the control of the drug points. It’s time to unite as brothers. Too many lives are being lost. Too many mothers are suffering. Too many children are losing their fathers. And you, jealous man, control your jealousy attacks.

As well as many of you, I know what it is to “hang out” on the street because I grew up there, and to be honest, the streets don’t give you anything. Today, I’m locked up. Puerto Rican youth, life inside four walls is not all roses. There’s no life in here; you suffer here, and at night when silence falls and loneliness embraces you, you’ll cry as much a man as you are. You won’t have your mom or dad in here; you’re all alone. Those who said where your buddies, those who said would be with you no matter what, are the first one to abandon you, while your mom suffers and cries because you’re locked up. Puerto Rican youth, as your brother, I ask that there will be union among you.

My brothers, this message is not personal. I’m only trying to get this thoughts into every one of your hearts and your conscience, so you can understand that this killing among yourselves cannot go on. Too many lives are being lost. Especially the lives of “innocent” people.

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Well, take good care. Until next time.

Your friend,

Pedro

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If I Knew

If I knew it would be the last time that I'd see you fall asleep,
I would tuck you in more tightly and pray the Lord, your soul to keep.

If I knew it would be the last time that I see you walk out the door,
I would give you a hug and kiss and call you back for one more.

If I knew it would be the last time I'd hear your voice lifted up in praise,
I would videotape each action and word, so I could play them back day after day.

If I knew it would be the last time, I would spare an extra minute or two
to stop and say "I love you," instead of assuming you would know I do.

If I knew it would be the last time I would be there to share your day,
Well I'm sure you'll have so many more, so I can let just this one slip away.

For surely there's always tomorrow to make up for an oversight,
and we always get a second chance to make everything right.

There will always be another day to say "I love you,"
and certainly there's another chance to say our "Anything I can do's?"

But just in case I might be wrong, and today is all I get,
I'd like to say how much I love you and I hope we never forget,
tomorrow is not promised to anyone, young or old alike.
And today may be the last chance you get to hold your loved one tight.

So if you're waiting for tomorrow, why not do it today?
For if tomorrow never comes, you'll surely regret the day
that you didn't take that extra time for a smile, a hug, or a kiss,
and you were too busy to grant someone, what turned out to be their one last wish.

So hold your loved ones close today, whisper in their ear,
tell them how much you love them and that you'll always hold them dear.

Take time to say "I'm sorry," "please forgive me," "thank you," or "it's okay."
And if tomorrow never comes, you'll have no regrets about today.

(Author: Unknown)

I'm Back...

2005-07-01T16:22:00.000-04:00

How are you, my friends? I haven’t posted in a long time (6 months). I’m so sorry for the delay; it won’t happen again. I’d like to thank everyone for the e-mails I have received. I’m surprised, for I’ve received e-mails from around the world. Once again, thank you.

So many things have happened these past few months. I wrote to you once about my grandfather’s illness, Alzheimer’s. Do you remember? My grandfather died on June 25, at 11:05 a.m. I’m sorry with all my heart that I couldn’t be at his side. My family tells me that he died at peace and calmly. They were at his side in his last minutes of life. May he rest in peace. I still remember the last conversation I had with him. He didn’t remember me, but we talked for a little while. We talked about wrestling which he used to love, the heat in Puerto Rico, although I had to make an effort to understand him. The last thing he told me was to take him a gallon of milk and some bread when I went there. Like I told you then, how I wish I could have done that, and saw him smile once more!

My grandmother is serene at least. I don’t want them to leave her alone at any moment. She’s strong and has taken things calmly. I wish that she could visit me, and take a little trip to clear her mind. We’ll see. She’s traveled only once. I hope she hasn’t taken fear of airplanes.

Well my friends, this is all for now. I hope that my messages are still of support and encouragement to you. It makes me really happy when I receive e-mails telling me that my messages have helped them in one way or the other. Soon I’ll post more photos in the Blog. Thanks once again for your support and your patience. Until next time.

Your friend always,

Pedro Matos

Reflections

"If for an instant God would forget that I am a rag doll and gave me a bit more life, I would make optimum use of that time. Possibly, I would not say all that I think, but I would definitely think before I say.

I would value things not for their face value but for their significance. I would sleep little, would dream more ... since for every minute that we close our eyes we lose sixty seconds of light ... I would walk when others rest and would be awake when others sleep.

If God gave me the gift of a bit of life, I would dress unpretentiously, I would lie down under the sun, not only naked of body but of soul...

I would tell men that they are wrong in believing that they should not fall in love when they grow old, but that they grow old when they stop falling in love! I would give a child wings, but would let him learn to fly on his own. To the old, I would say that death does not derive from old age, but from being forgotten.

I have learned so much from you...

I have learned that everybody wants to live on top of the hill without realizing that true happiness lies in the climbing of the escarpment.

I have learned that when a newborn baby first squeezes, with his little hand, his father's finger he owns him forever.

I have learned that the only time a man has the right to look down on another man is when he is helping him to his feet.

I have learned so much from you…

Always say what you feel and do what you think...

If I knew that today was the last time I would see you going to sleep, I would hold you tight and pray to God that I could be the guardian of your soul. If I knew that these were the last minutes I see you, I would say to you "I love you" and would not foolishly assume that you know it.

There is always a tomorrow and life gives us another chance to do the right thing but, if I am wrong and today is all there is, I would like to tell you how much I love you, that I will never forget you.
No one is guaranteed a tomorrow, young or old . Today it could be the last time that you see your loved ones. If tomorrow never comes, you will surely be sorry you did not take the time for a smile, for an embrace, for a kiss and that you were too busy to satisfy a last wish.

Keep those you love near you, whisper in their ears how much you need them, love them, treat them well, take time to say "I am sorry", "forgive me", "please", "thank you" and all the loving words you know... Nobody will remember you for your secret thoughts...

Ask the Lord for the strength and wisdom to express them... tell your loved ones how much they mean to you..."

(Author: Gabriel García Marquez)

Correspondence

2004-12-17T13:31:00.000-05:00

Welcome to this Blog. Thanks for visiting.

I have only received one single letter this week, which is strange because I usually receive six or seven each week. I really love receiving correspondence. When the officer who does the mail call doesn’t call my name, I get desperate. I’m used to receiving letters. They make me feel good, because this lets me know that there are still people who love and remember me. Like I mentioned before in one of my first Blog entries, letters are very important for people who are in prison. You can’t imagine how important, so if you have a friend in jail, write them a short letter once in a while. This gesture is something that will be always appreciated.

Well my friends, this is all for now. Thanks again for your support.

Sincerely,

Pedro

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Joy is not in things; it is in us.

- Richard Wagner -

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True happiness must come from within you.
You will find happiness by letting your conscience
guide you – listen to it; follow it.
Your conscience is the key to your happiness.

- Karen Poynter Taylor -

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If you can sit before a sunset
And recall your actions
And while recalling find a generous action
A word that gave peace to the heart of one who listened –
A sweet look that fell like a sunray
You may recall the day as being one nicely lived.

- Robert Browning -

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Learning

2004-12-13T10:39:00.000-05:00

Hello and welcome to this Blog, which is growing in attendance even more each day, and I thank your support.

I’ve had a few pictures taken to put them up in the Blog once they develop them. They’re not many, just four or five.

Talking with my youngest son, he told me that every Friday he’s taking a class about drugs. An officer comes and teaches that class. It seems like a great idea. The officer talks to them about the effect of drogs and tells them that if they read a magazine or newspaper article, to bring it to class so they can discuss it. I sent him the manual they gave me in the class I took here – remember the one I once talked to you about? The manual is really interesting and educative. I hope that everyone in the class finds it useful. I did. I’ve always know that drugs are harmful, but I learned a lot more from that class.

Not only are drugs physically harmful, the worst thing is that they’re also harmful for the addict’s relatives. A person dependent on drugs doesn’t think of anyone else, only about themselves.

Well, this is all for now. See you later.

Sincerely,

Pedro

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Life a Life of Happiness

Happiness cannot come from without.
It must come from within.
It is not what we see and touch
or that which others do for us
which makes us happy;
it is that which we think
and feel and do,
first for the other fellow
and then for ourselves.

- Helen Keller -

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Live so that you may have serenity,
be in harmony with the world
and have plenty of happiness.

- Confucius -

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Decisions

2004-12-10T10:01:00.000-05:00

How are you? I hope that great.

They still haven’t declared winners some of the candidates of the past elections in my country (Puerto Rico). They had declared one, but the other party appealed to the tribunals, because the one they had declared winner had won by only 3,000 votes. And that’s why they appealed that decision. And now they’re recounting the votes and it’s probable that we won’t know the results until the middle or the end of this month.

I’m already making my Christmas cards. I start them this early so that I can finish them on time to send them before Christmas. I do them myself. A friend of mine taught me the method called “pressed” and the cards look really nice.

Good bye for now. Until next time.

Sincerely,

Pedro

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Be glad of life,
because it gives you the chance
to love
and to work
and to play
and to look up at the stars.

- Henry Van Dyke -

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Keep your face
to the sunshine
and you cannot
see the shadow.

- Helen Keller -

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Reggaeton

2004-12-06T17:56:00.000-05:00

Hello friends. I hope that you’re all doing great, as well as your families.

They finally moved my new roommate to another room, because another guy was sent to the hole (where they put someone who’s broken any of the prison rules). It’s a room like the rest in here, only that they keep them locked up for 23 hours a day and they only let them out each day for an hour to a small yard in that section. Now everything’s back to normal, more space and more privacy. I only hope they don’t bring anyone else to this room.

The other day I was watching the music awards called “The Source Awards” in which they award the best in R&B and Rap music. What really got my attention was the award that Tego Calderón won for his Reggaeton album. I imagine you’re already familiarized with this rhythm. If not, let me explain that Reggaeton is a musical genre from Puerto Rico that combines hip-hop, reggae and Caribbean rhythm. The best artists in this genre are: Tego Calderón, Daddy Yankee, Don Omar, Hector & Tito, Trébol Clan and some others. But like I said, it really got my attention, because Reggaeton is going international and it’s becoming a hit here in the United States, especially in Miami and New York. The lyrics are in Spanish, but the rhythm is contagious that even those who don’t understand the language dance to it.

Well, this is all for now. Until next time.

Pedro

Promise me that you will...

Be kind to yourself.
Look in the mirror
and see that you are beautiful.
Make three wishes.
Be strong.
Nurture your soul.
Continue your prayers.
Let go of any pain.
Banish any anger.
Take one moment at a time.
Hear music.
Make music.
Seek inspiration.
Learn ...

Promise me that you will...

Believe in fairy tales
and in the magic of your dreams.
Find that dreams do come true.
Hug yourself.
Feel the sun shine.
Believe again.
Smile.
Seek laughter.
Always remember
that you have a guardian angel
watching over you.
Find Hope.
Find your true love.

Promise me these things...

- Linda Ann McConnell -

Celebrations

2004-12-03T16:58:00.000-05:00

How are you? I hope that great. I’m doing fine. Well, we’re already planning the Christmas parties. We have one the 4th of December in a friend’s unit, another one on the 19th in another unit; the 24th we’ll do another one and the 30th will be the last party of this year. What we do is that each one buys food at the commissary, like rice, cheese, summer sausages, fish, soups, beans, Doritos, pork skins, crackers and stuff like that. Each one of us has to buy a few things and a friend of us cooks them, well, with our help, although I’m the least help because I don’t know how to cook much. But we have so much fun having these parties, because we forget, at least for a little while, that we’re in prison. I will tell you about the parties later on.

On the last Blog entry, I wrote a message I’d read that talked about God. Here is another one I read that same day, being that they were both together. I believe in God, but not like before. I don’t know why; it might be because of all of the things I see, read or hear, that I don’t know why God lets them happen.

This is all for now. Until next time.

Sincerely,

Pedro

Footprints

One night a man had a dream. He dreamed he was walking along the beach with the LORD. Across the Sky flashed scenes from his life. For each scene, he noticed two sets of footprints in the sand; one belonged to him, and the other to the LORD.

When the last scene of his life flashed before him, he looked back at the footprints in the sand. He noticed that many times along the path of his life there was only one set of footprints. He also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest time in his life.

This really bothered him and he questioned the LORD about it. "LORD, you said that once I decided to follow you, you'd walk with me all the way. But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life, there is only one set of footprints. I don't understand why when I needed you most you would leave me."

The LORD replied, "My precious, precious child, I love you and I would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you."

- Author Unknown -

Frontiers

2004-11-29T13:18:00.000-05:00

Hello friends. I hope that you’re in the best of health and spirit. I’m doing great. I hope you enjoyed Thanksgiving Day. I’m still eating turkey.

Well, for starters, my new roommate is still here; he’s nice, but I’m anxious that they bring additional beds so they move him. Like I told you, three people in a small room is too much and we’re living like canned sardines. Anyways, he’s Honduran and they arrested him as he was crossing the frontier to the United States. They gave him five years for re-entry, because he had been deported before. That same day they deported him to Honduras, he started his pilgrimage back to the States, which took him 22 days and then as he entered the frontier, they arrested him. In those 22 days he went across Guatemala and Mexico. It’s a dangerous trip, because he had to get on trains and hide and he traveled in the stairs of the wagons, although sometimes there were freight wagons that were open. He experienced hunger, cold, heat, and much more. The trip was not easy at all. In my opinion, the majority of the people who illegally enter the United States come to work and it seems unfair that a person who has been legally working for years in the United States, gets deported for not having residency or citizenship.

Well, this is all for now. Here is a message I read and really liked. Take much care. Until next time.

Sincerely,

Pedro

I Asked God

I asked God to take away my pain. God said, No.
It is not for me to take away, but for you to give it up.

I asked God to grant me patience. God said, No.
Patience is a by-product of tribulations; It isn't granted, it is learned.

I asked God to give me happiness. God said, No.
I give you blessings. Happiness is up to you.

I asked God to spare me pain. God said, No.
Suffering draws you apart from worldly cares and brings you closer to me.

I asked God to make my spirit grow. God said, No.
You must grow on your own, but I will prune you to make you fruitful.

I asked God for all things that I might enjoy life. God said, No.
I will give you life so that you may enjoy all things.

I asked God to help me love others, as much as he loves me. God said ……
Ahhhhh, finally you have the idea.

- Unknown Author -

Thanksgiving Day

2004-11-26T13:59:00.000-05:00

How are you? I hope you’re doing as good as I am. How did you spend your Thanksgiving Day? I hope you had a nice day by the side of your relatives and that you ate a lot of turkey. We had good food here. They gave us turkey, quail, potato salad, ice cream, gelatine, and much more. The only bad this is that our turn to eat was at 1:00 p.m., because each unit went in order, which they do according to the points each unit gets in their cleaning inspections. And this week we were the unit with the least points, and there are twelve units. Although this isn’t anything out of the ordinary, being that we’re always between the last five. There are a lot of people in this unit who don’t like to keep their rooms clean and organized. I’m very picky about this. I like to keep everything organized. It’s one of the reasons I’m anxious that they move my new roommate, because with his mattress and possessions on the floor, we can’t clean well.

This is all for now. Take much care.

Pedro

Love

There is no difficulty that enough love will not conquer;
no disease that enough love will not heal;
no door that enough love will not open;
no gulf that enough love will not bridge;
no wall that enough love will not throw down;
no sin that enough love will not redeem.

It makes no difference how deeply seated may be the trouble;
how hopeless the outlook; how muddled the tangle; how great the mistake.
A sufficient realization of love will dissolve it all.
If only you could love enough you would be
the happiest and most powerful being in the world.

- Emmet Fox -

New Roommate

2004-11-22T17:09:00.000-05:00

Hello friends. I hope that you’re all doing great as well as your families. I’m doing fine although a bit uncomfortable, because they put another person in my room. This is due to the overpopulation of the prison and the new arrivals being put to sleep on the floors of the different rooms. Well, if it was enough with two people per room, imagine three people living in a very small room. It’s not easy, being that I like to be alone in my room so I can relax, rest or put my thoughts in order and I know that the same thing happens to my roommate. That’s why we had a routine; when he’s in the room, I’m not there and when I’m in the room, he’s somewhere else. But now that routine is over and we’re sort of disorganized. I hope that they move the new roommate to another room so that everything goes back to normal. We can barely walk in the room without tripping, because the mattress is on the floor and takes up much space.

Thanks for visiting my Blog. Sometimes I’m surprised by how many people visit it. Once again, thanks for your support. This is all for now. Until next time.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Sincerely,

Pedro

May You Always Be As Happy As You Can

Love yourself every day
and remember how many people love you.
Do good to others,
but also to yourself.
Free the child inside you
so you can sing, laugh and play.
Make a list of what you do best,
and give yourself a hug.
Accept compliments.
Dance without shoes.
Try to satisfy a secret wish.
Laugh at yourself.
And especially,
remember that you are loved.

- Jacqueline Schiff -

Waiting...

2004-11-19T17:06:00.000-05:00

If you knew how much I wanna get out of here so I can make all my goals and dreams come true. I think there’s no one else in the world more hopeful to improve and have success in this life. I’m always daydreaming; that if when I have this, I’ll do this; that I’ll do this or that in certain manner; that when I buy this, I will give that to someone else. I have so many plans that I fear none of them will come true the way I want them, because I wanna be successful and with me, all of those around me as well; that all of us grow together, helping one another. I wish to do so many things at once that I don’t even know where to start. But I know that once I start, I won’t stop, because I will be focused on my goals and until I fulfill them, I won’t be at peace. Various people have helped during this time I’ve been imprisoned, especially my family, and these are the people I think of helping and like I told you before, if I’m successful, they will be, too.

Sincerely,

Pedro

A Positive Attitude is the Key to Success

Before saying “I Can’t,” you should have already tried.

Before your doubts stop you, confront them with facts.

Before reasons convince you that it’s impossible, chase that reason which makes it possible.

Before failure penetrates your mind, hide success inside your heart.

Before fear stops you, keep on going with faith.

Before problems interfere with your plans, used them to fulfill your objectives.

Before stopping because you think that others are better than you, show them you know how to conquer.

Before conforming with less, grab what’s most important.

Before believing that there’s no exit, keep walking and you’ll find it.

Before giving up, find peace in your heart.

Before throwing away your dreams, wait for them to become a reality.

Before searching for happiness, construct it where you are!

- Nancy Sims -

Passing Time....

2004-11-15T07:54:00.000-05:00

Hello my friends. I thank you for keeping visiting me. Lately I’ve been playing chess, although I don’t play much, but it keeps me entertained. But after the third or fourth game, I get bored and stop playing. One needs much concentration to play. Well, I still haven’t been able to read the blog entry for the day my mom wrote. My sister told me she’d send it to me, but she still hasn’t done it. I have friends who have written to me or who have come to see me and they’ve told me that what my mom wrote it’s really beautiful. I can’t wait to read it.

Changing the subject, I thought the elections would be more challenging, but it wasn’t like that. Also, on that day were my country’s (Puerto Rico) elections and they were closed as well. Even more, they had to make a recount to determine who won.

Well, see you later, bye.

Sincerely,

Pedro

Find Happiness

Find happiness in nature,
in the beauty of mountain,
in the serenity of the sea.
Find happiness in friendship,
in the fun of doing things together,
in the sharing and understanding.
Find happiness in your family,
in the stability of knowing
that someone cares,
in the strength of love and honesty.
Find happiness in yourself,
in your mind and body,
in your values and achievements.
Find happiness in
everything you do.

- Susan Polis Schutz -

Races

2004-11-12T09:56:00.000-05:00

How are you? I hope that you’re all doing great, as well as your families. Yesterday, I was outside walking on the yard and I started to count all the different races found in here. There are Mexicans, Peruvians, Italians, Hondurans, Salvadoreans, Panamanians, Colombians, Cubans, Puerto Ricans, Jamaicans, Haitians, Canadians, Nicaraguans, Dominicans, Americans, Filipinos, Africans, Venezuelans. These are the ones that I know from which country they come, because there are a lot more whose nacionality I don’t know.

Many times I have conversations with people of other countries and the lexis is very different. There are times when I don’t understand something they said and other times they don’t understand me. Also, as time goes by, you catch some of the words or phrases of the different countries. Sometimes when I am on the phone with friends, I may say a “weird” word without even noticing and they asked me what I said because they didn’t understand me. I think that when I leave this place I will have a mixture of languages that I won’t even understand myself, (haha).

It’s really interesting to listen to stories from other countries. One learns a lot. On one of the next messages in the Blog, I will make a list of words from other countries.

This is all for now. Bye.

Sincerely,

Pedro

Let Your Positive Side Shine

Always hold honor as a high virtue.
Despite how the world may be, rise above.

Always speak the truth, because others
will hold you in high esteem as a person
who can be trusted.

Never lose faith in your fellow human beings,
despite times when they may let you down.

Believe in hard work. No one will hand you
the future you want.
The ladder to success is steep,
but take one step at a time and you will get to the top.

Always believe in yourself.
Your happiness depends on no one else but you.
If there is something that you are unhappy about,
you must change it.

Always hold love close to you.
When you make a commitment, cherish it
for the rest of your life.

- Sherrie L. Householder -

Health

2004-11-08T21:13:00.000-05:00

Hello and welcome to this, your Blog. Last time I was somewhat sick. I felt really bad, but I don’t like going to the doctor, because I don’t like waiting. But one night I couldn’t sleep from how bad I was feeling. So I went to the doctor the next day, because I was a bit worried. In the end, they told me that what I had was heartburn and they gave me some pills, which have helped me feel better. From now on I will try to eat food that’s lower in fat, because I don’t wish to feel this way again.

Well friends, this is all for now.

Sincerely,

Pedro

Never Lose Faith in Yourself

Never think that you lack a certain discipline.
Never doubt your ability.
Never doubt your judgement.
Never let that anyone or anything
make you feel less than what you are,
because you’re a special person.

Never think that the next step is far.
If you trip on the road, lift your head and remember
that the words or actions of other people
can never hurt you,
because you’re a special person.

Never lose faith in yourself.
Look around you –
the friends that surround you –
because they love you,
they help you and believe in you...
Because you’re a special person.

- Ashley Bell -

Newborns...

2004-11-05T17:11:00.000-05:00

My friends, how are you? I hope that you’re all doing great. I’m doing fine. I was reading a newspaper from Puerto Rico called “El Nuevo Día” (The New Day) and I was impressed by an article about newborns of addicted mothers. I knew that the babies are born with the same addiction as the mothers, but what I didn’t know was how much they suffer until their system gets cleaned. They have the same symptoms as a grown up would as they’re breaking the habit. And it’s even worse, being that they’re so fragile they’re more prone to illnesses. I can’t imagine the suffering that these babies go through and the article also says that the majority of those babies are given up for adoption, because the mothers don’t care about them. I don’t know how there can be mothers who don’t care about their own children, because drugs are more important to them. I gave the newspaper to a friend so he could read it, but I will ask him for it so I can see on what day that article went out and the newspaper’s website and then in the near future, I can give it to you so you can read it as well. I can guarantee you that it will impress you.

This is all for today. Take much care.

Sincerely,

Pedro

May Every Day of Your Life Be a Celebration of All That You Are

May every day of your life bring you fresh hopes for tomorrow - because hope gives all of us our reason for trying. May each new day bring a feeling of excitement, joy, and a wonderful sense of expectation. Expect the best, and you'll get it. May you find a peace in simple things, because those are the ones that will always be there.

May you remember the good times and forget the sorrow and pain, for the good times will remind you of how special your life has been. May you always feel secure and loved, and know you are the best. May you experience all the good things in life - the happiness of realizing your dreams, the joy of feeling worthwhile, and the satisfaction of knowing you've succeeded.

May you find warmth in others, expressions of love and kindness, smiles that encourage you, and friends who are loyal and honest. May you realize the importance of patience and accept others for what they are. With understanding and love, you'll find the good in every heart.

May you have faith in others and the ability to be vulnerable. Open your heart and really share the miracle of love and intimacy. Above all, may you be happy with yourself.

- Regina Hill -

Problem with the Messages

2004-11-01T01:22:00.000-05:00

Welcome to this Blog. Thanks for your support. I apologize that lately this Blog hasn’t been posting on its corresponding days, but I’ve had problems with the mail and it’s taking longer for the entries to arrive. I’d written about my birthday, which was last October 28, where I wrote about an interesting article I read about adopted babies. That article was very interesting and I would have liked you to read it, too. I hope that I can recover those entries.

This is all for now. Take much care.

Sincerely,

Pedro

The Secrets of a Positive Perspective

Happiness, as much as your heart can harbor.
Abundance of laughter.
Patience with your loved ones
and your own weaknesses.
Yesterdays that comfort you
and promise a better tomorrow.
Faith in yourself and your goals.
Comforting smiles that warm your days.
Hugs that heal your heart through tears.
Dreams that push you forward
and help you grow.
Acceptance of your occasional failures.
Determination to keep trying.
Courage to continue when you’re afraid.
Warmth when it’s cold outside.
A star if the night is dark.
The wings of a butterfly.
The melody of a bird.
And, for always, a rainbow
after each storm.

- Vickie M. Worsham -

Birthdays...

2004-10-29T13:46:00.000-04:00

Hello friends from Through the Walls. I hope that you’re all doing great. Yesterday was my 34th birthday. I’m getting old, but what’s one to do. None of my friends here knew it. I didn’t tell them, because they would have played tricks on me like throw water on me and stuff like that. Every time there’s someone’s birthday we play tricks on them, but I stayed quiet about mine. I’ve spent 6 birthdays behind bars, 6 Christmases and with the coming elections, it would be two that I’ve been here. I received greeting cards, letters, photos from relatives and friends, which are truly thanked from my heart.

Well, this is all for now. Thanks.

Sincerely,

Pedro

Hope

Hope is not closing your eyes to the difficulties, risks or failures.
It’s knowing that if you fail now, you won’t fail forever, and if you get hurt, you’ll heal.
It’s knowing that life is good, love is powerful and the future is full of surprises.

- Anonymous -

A Mother's Thoughts

2004-10-25T19:22:00.000-04:00

Hi, how’s everyone? Thanks for your support.

Well, I’m Annie, Pedro’s mom. Today he has asked me to write a message in his Blog to tell you about how a mom feels of having a son in jail.

I felt that my life gave me a hard hit. I wondered “why is life so hard on me... why all the obstacles in my way?” I felt my heart stripping and a deep pain in my chest that choked me. I pinched myself to see if it was all true or if I was having a horrible nightmare.

As a mother I felt I was missing a part of my life. It was hard to accept that my son would be incarcerated for so many years.

Then, I got closer to God, for there is nothing without Him and I asked him “my God, protect this being for whom I pray so much, for whom I implore you so much.” And God, like a loving Father, let peace into my heart and I know that my son is comforted, although sometimes as a mother I feel he has his moments of sadness which he knows how to overcome. I feel really proud of him, because he has known how to better himself despite this situation and to value his family even more. I know that we will all soon be together once again.

I wish to share with you this poem I wrote once after visiting Pedro (in April of 2004). During this visit I felt a quiet sadness in him. I titled it “Deep Sadness.”

Sincerely,

Annie Robles

Quiet Sadness

The visit ends,
our good-bye begins.
It is a hard moment
that I do not wish to prolong.

He walked crestfallen
trying to hide his woe;
but as a mother
I felt it all as well.

A deep sadness in his eyes
invaded with bitterness his heart.
He remained sitting there,
looking anxiously,
wishing in his soul
he could leave, too.

Oh!... what a huge pain
I feel in my chest.
A last look at my son
tore my soul to pieces...

- A. Robles -

Life’s Situations (continued)

2004-10-22T15:09:00.000-04:00

Hello friends. I hope that you’re all doing fine.

This week everyone who was close to Pepo (the guy who was killed in Puerto Rico) got taken various photos to send to his family. It was about 30 of us who got photos taken. I still find it hard to believe what happened to him, but that’s the way it is. I wrote to his mom to give her at least some support through my letter. I thought a few times how I would write to her, because I couldn’t find the right words. The loss of a son is something really painful and not easy to face.

Well friends, this is all for now. Thanks for visiting this Blog. Until next time.

Sincerely,

Pedro

Find Everyday Something that Inspires Gratitude

Have conscience every day of the beauty that surrounds you and full gratitude for friendship and family, for the kindness you find in others, for your health and for what you’re capable of doing. Have full acceptance of yourself and others, without conditions, judgements, knowing that differences and changes make life interesting. Appreciate as gifts the laughter and fun in your life and find comfort in knowing that you can always be capable of seeing the positive side.

- Barbara Cage -

Life's Situations

2004-10-18T19:39:00.000-04:00

Hello friends. I hope that you’re all doing great. I’m doing just fine.

Do you remember when I once told you about the reaction one feels at the time they free one of our inmate friends? Well, that time my good friend (Pepo), who I appreciated very much, was set free. Last Monday his co-defendant, who is also in here and a good friend of mine as well, went looking for me outside and told me that they’d killed Pepo in Puerto Rico. I was surprised, because I didn’t expect it, or at least I didn’t expect it so soon. He knew what could be waiting for him in PR, being that he had a few problems before being locked up, but who knew that after nine years in prison, death would be waiting. We used to tell him to stay over here, but his ambition for money was stronger than our advice. I can imagine how his mom might be feeling, but especially his daughter, for he was imprisoned when she was one year old. He was always in contact with her throughout the years and she loved him a lot and was proud of him.

Each day I think more and more about going to Puerto Rico when I get my freedom, because I don’t wish to stay in the US. If I don’t go to Puerto Rico, then I’m going to another state, but I won’t stay here in the US.

Well friends, this is all. Take much care and until next time.

Sincerely,

Pedro

Maintain Your Optimism

When life seems overwhelming and you can’t seem to do all that awaits you. When there isn’t any time left for resting and enjoyment. When the reward for all your efforts is little and you wonder if it’s worth it, if life might be this way, if this is all that the future holds.

Try to keep a positive attitude, thinking about the small blessing which happen every day without us noticing. Keep an open mind to the funny situations, because humor may rescue you from overwhelming situations.

And never forget that there are people who love you and who think of you; people who want to help and support your through the difficult times in your life; people who think you are very special; people who worry much about you.

- Barbara Cage -

Teachings

2004-10-15T13:37:00.000-04:00

How are you? I hope that great. Soon will start another course of the Non-Violence Program. As facilitators (teachers) we have met together to figure out how we’re going to run the course this time. There are many people who wish to take the course. That’s why we’ll offer two classes, one in the morning and the other in the afternoon. I’m going to teach the afternoon class, because I don’t wish to get up early and teach the morning one. One never knows what will happen in that course, because there are always two or three people who with their questions make the class really fun. As the course goes by, I will keep informing you about it.

Well, this is all for now. Thanks for your support. And take good care.

Sincerely,

Pedro

Gifts of the Heart

Trust...that whatever happens, there is someone who will understand.
Honesty...the feeling that you never need to hold back.
Peace...in being accepted for who you really are.
Beauty...in outlook more than appearance.
Freedom...to be yourself, to change, and to grow.
Joy...in every day, in every memory and in your hopes for the future.
Love...to last a lifetime, and perhaps beyond.

- D. L. Riepl -

Complaints

2004-10-11T10:14:00.000-04:00

Hello. I hope that you’re all doing great. I’m doing fine, taking things easy from day to day, because every day that goes by is one day less to go from my sentence and I get closer to my precious freedom.

Today I wish to talk about the many times I complain for the littlest things, but reflecting upon it I realize that I shouldn’t do it. For example, the times I complain when I wake up in the morning and see the walls around me and I tell myself: “another day in this nightmare.” But what I should do is thank God for letting me see another day, because there have been many people who go to sleep to never open their eyes again.

Also, many times I complain about my bed, because the mattress is not too comfortable. But how many people in this world sleep on cardboard and without a roof over their heads. Other times I complain of the food they give us here, but there are millions of people who wish they could pick up the crumbs of bread I throw in the trash every day, because they don’t even have anything to eat.

Sometimes I get angry or desperate when my mom tells me something I don’t like, but how many people, who don’t have their mothers alive, wish they could hear them right now even if it’s a scold from them and to have them by their side. I complain about how much I have to go up and down the stairs to get to my Unit. And I haven’t thought about the handicapped inmates here who wish they could walk and climb up and down those stairs that I complain so much about.

I also complain, because sometimes the money that my relatives send me doesn’t cover much of my expenses. And they are probably denying themselves of buying things they need to send me that money. Other times I see the date of my freedom really far away, but I have friends who will never have that freedom which awaits me, because they’ll never get out of prison.

There are many times when we have to wait long lines just so we can talk on the phone and that really makes me impatient. But I don’t stop to think about many of my inmate friends here who don’t have anyone to call, because everyone, including their relatives, have turn their backs on them.

Sometimes I think that life is unfair, but we should think that even if problems sadden us, there are people out there with more problems than us.

Sincerely,

Pedro

The Everyday Miracles

Each day is full of miracles that seem so common that sometimes we forget to stop and appreciate the marvel of the moment. With each baby born, each rainbow that glows, each smile we share, a miracle is born.

Sometimes we forget that miracles are not always spectacular, or happen once in a lifetime. Almost all miracles are much smaller. The best ones of all are those that happen every day and reflect the love and hope for nature and humankind.

Don’t ever forget to be glad of every small joy. If you only celebrate the most spectacular happenings, you’ll spend much time waiting for joy to find you. It’s better if you find that joy.

- Patty J. Rice -

Snail Mail

2004-10-08T19:30:00.000-04:00

How are you? I hope you’re doing fine. Thanks for supporting this Blog; please continue that way.

Once again I’d like to thank everyone who’s sent me e-mails for your words of support and encouragement. Many times I’m not able to reply, but I want you to know that I read all the messages you send, which give me strength to keep going in this difficult path.

I am surprised when I even receive messages from far away places like Indonesia, Spain, England and more. Is good to know that various people have liked my messages. I hope to always be able to write my messages in this Blog. You can also send me letters by postal mail so that I can receive them here; if you wish to do so, send me an e-mail (there’s a link on the right-hand menu) and I will e-mail you my postal address. And if you have a website or know of an interesting one, let me know so I can read it. I would like to know a bit about your countries as well.

This is all for know. See you.

Sincerely,

Pedro

Don’t Ever Abandon Hope

Life doesn’t always bring us the happiness we desire. Not always our hopes come true, or our dreams and not always do we get what we want. But don’t abandon hope, because you can make a difference on a situation and a person each time.

Look for the beauty that surrounds you in nature, in others, in yourself and belief in the love of friendships, family and humanity. You may find love in a smile, or a helping hand, in an understanding gesture, or in a kind word. It’s everywhere, you only have to look for it.

Give love, because you’ll find the power of life together with happiness, cheer, patience and understanding. Believe in the kindness of others and remember that anger and depression can be battled with love and hope.

Although it may seem that there is nothing you can do to change misfortune or other problems, there’s always a small thing that you can do, and a small thing each time can make a great difference in time.

- Barbara Cage -

New Beginnings

2004-10-04T19:25:00.000-04:00

Friends, how are you? I hope that you’re all doing great. Thanks for supporting this Blog and remember that, God willing, it will post on Mondays and Fridays.

I finally took the test for the Drug Course. I thought I wasn’t going to do any good, because I didn’t study. But I found it to be easy and I passed it. I think that almost everyone passed; who knows if everyone.

I hope that of those of you who read my Blog, and who live in Florida, haven’t been affected much by the hurricanes that have gone through here. I’ve never seen anything like this before, that various consecutive hurricanes have gone through Florida. I hope that we don’t get any more.

Thanks again for visiting this Blog. See you next time.

Sincerely,

Pedro

Let Each Day Be a New Beginning

Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities have crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.

- Ralph Waldo Emerson -

Another Hurricane

2004-10-01T20:44:00.000-04:00

Good morning, friends of Through the Walls. I hope that you’re all doing fine. As you know, another hurricane hit Florida and as always they locked us in our rooms for security reasons. There have been already three consecutive hurricanes (Charley, Frances and Jeanne); I hope there aren’t any more. It’s bad enough with them destroying many places; I don’t wish to be locked up in my room again. I already have enough without having my freedom; imagine how do I feel when I’m locked up in my room. I feel desperate, because I’m very hyperactive and I always have keep busy.

Well friends, this is all for now and thanks for your support.

Sincerely,

Pedro

Do That Which Brings You Happiness

If you have certain anxiety to choose your life’s path, give yourself some time, go somewhere. Let go, give yourself freedom. Contemplate the depth of your soul and ask yourself what it is which brings you happiness.

Don’t take a certain path just because it seems that you should do it or because it was in your plans. Sometimes it takes much time to know what you want. Go for a walk, sit by the fire, contemplate a lake’s surface; go where you will find inspiration.

Try different things. Discovering what you should do, does not have anything to do with how much money you might earn, or who you can please. You should please yourself first, love yourself enough to discover that which will please you most.

In time you will find that which makes you happy. It is worth whatever time it takes you; you’re worth it.

- Carol Howard -

Choices

2004-09-27T17:56:00.000-04:00

Welcome to this, your Blog. Thanks for your support. I have an incredible headache. Today I played some basketball games and it seems that all the sun has given me this pain.

Today, through this entry, I would like to apologize to a couple of people who deserve it. First of all my mom, because I disappointed her when I chose the wrong path in life, because she always worried and truly made an effort to give me all that I needed when I was growing up. Also, to my grandparents, because they gave me an exemplary rearing and most importantly, they gave me much love and I paid them this way. To my sons, because while being in prison I haven’t been able to be by their side to guide them in the right path, so they can be men of good when they grow up. I’ve lost great part of their life and I know that they really need me. And finally, to all my family, because they always supported me in everything and I know that I disappointed them.

Sincerely,

Pedro

You May Find a Bit of Joy in All that Happens in Life

Life may choose for us. Sometimes those choices seem to be sad and unfair, but in the end we control our own destiny, because we can decide how people and happenings affects us.

Most part of our joy depends on the choices we make. We can accept that life is not how we want it to be or we can change it to be whatever we want.

We can walk in the shadows or choose a smile and search for the sunlight. We can create great dreams that will never disappear or construct the dreams that will become a reality.

We can contemplate only our negative aspects or advance ourselves acting like our best friend. We can live in the past or dream about the future, or live in the present.

We can give in when our path becomes difficult, or we can go on until the panorama clears. The choices in life are limited and so is the potential of joy.

- Nancye Sims -

About the Streets...

2004-09-24T21:18:00.000-04:00

How are you, friends? I hope that you’re doing great. Thanks for the messages you’ve left in my Blog. I wish I could write here every day, but sadly I can only do it on Mondays and Fridays.

Do you remember what I mentioned in an earlier entry about the class I was taking about drugs (40 hour Program about Drugs)? Well, it’s proved to be very interesting and I’ve learned a lot. It’s really no use to use drugs. You’d have to take that class to figure out many things about drugs, alcohol and cigarets. I’ve never done drugs, alcohol, or cigarets and now even less with all that I’ve learned in this class. It’s not like I wanna seem like a saint, because I didn’t consume it, but I did sold it which I think it’s worst.

Sometimes I think about the people I sold them to, how many were left without paying a bill or worst yet, without taking food to their homes because they spent it all on drugs. I saw many people cry because they didn’t have all the money to buy the drugs. I saw many pretty girls trying to sell their bodies for drugs, people selling their home furniture and other things. Well, I saw many things. But out on the streets, I never thought about that, but in here I’ve had a lot of time to think and reflect.

Well friends, this is all for now. Later.

Sincerely,

Pedro

Don’t Regret Your Past, Learn from It

Far away in the distant past lies the idea of that which once was and of how it determined who we are. We regret that which we didn’t do and we wish we could change that which we did wrong. What we do is look into the future.

We end up wasting our life in remorse, without noticing the good that is happening in the present. If we look into the future, we would surely find some happiness which will give value to our lives.

You could find comfort in the thoughts and actions of those around you. They will help you go through rough times and they will be glad for your good moments.

Anticipate more luminous days in your path. Perhaps complications will emerge and things will get bad, but remember your virtues. Keep your head up so that the whole world can see how special you are and keep going forward.

- Lauren Hall -

Locked up...

2004-09-20T18:17:00.000-04:00

Hello friends. I hope you’re all doing great. I’m getting back to my normal routine, after we were all locked up for eight days because there was a big fight out in the yard. For security reasons, they have to close all the prison while they investigate what happened. And on top of that, hurricane Frances came to Florida that same week and they kept us locked up in our rooms more time. But now, thank goodness, everything is back to normal. Those days we were locked up did me some good, because I rested a lot and I had time to organize all my thoughts, and plan my short and long-term goals. Like I said before, I’m back to my normal routine.

Well, this is all for now. Take much care.

Sincerely,

Pedro

Think Positive Thoughts Every Day

If you feel that in your life you lack the power that you want and the motivation that you need, sometimes all it takes is to change your point of view. If you educate your thoughts so they concentrate on the positive, it’s more probable that you have the necessary incentive to follow your objectives. It’s less probable that you’re stopped by negative ideas which may limit your effort.

You can improve your life and enrich your happiness if you choose to change your perspective. Don’t abandon your future at the hands of luck or wait for things to mysteriously fix themselves. You should head in the direction of your hopes and aspirations. Start by trusting yourself and try to resolve problems instead of running away from them. Remember that having power doesn’t necessarily mean controlling situations, but being able to confront whatever comes your way.

Firmly believe that good is possible and remember that mistakes can be lessons which result in discoveries. Take your fear and transform it in trust; learn to rise over anxieties and doubts. Transform your “worrying hours” into “productive hours”. Take the energy you’ve wasted and direct it toward efforts that are worth involucrating yourself.

You’ll see that beautiful things happen as soon as you let yourself experiment with the delights in life. You’ll find happiness as you adopt a positive attitude in your daily routine and make it an important part of your world.

(Author: Kelly D. Williams)

Our Children

2004-09-17T21:31:00.000-04:00

How are you? I hope that great! The other day, they brought my son to visit me and he’s such a little man already; he’s 10 years old. Time has gone by in a flash. I remember it like it was yesterday when he was born, I changed his diapers, the first day of pre-school. There are so many memories that it would be impossible for me to write them all.

During the visit, I looked at him and remembered how much we shared together. He always loved to spend time with me. He talked to me like he’s an older person and being serious. I listened to him attentively, but inside I smile as I notice how much he’s growing up, both physically and mentally. One of the most beautiful and wonderful experiences I’ve had was the day we went to Disney World; he was 2 and a half years old. That day, they had character parade and he was so thrilled that his eyes were wide open, he applauded and sighed with such excitement. You had to be there to see the amazement, surprise and happiness in his face. That day I felt like the best dad in the world, an emotion I’ve never felt again.

I really wish I could be near them every day, see them play baseball and basketball, take them to the park and to the movies. Help them with their school work, play video games with them – although I’ve never been any good in video games because they always beat me. Like I said in one of the entries of my Blog, I’ve seen them grow up in photos and I keep them with an incredible love.

Sincerely,

Pedro

If I Had My Child to Raise Over Again

If I had my child to raise all over again, I'd finger-paint more and point the finger less. I'd do less correcting and more connecting. I'd take my eyes off my watch, and watch with my eyes. I would care to know less and know to care more. I'd take more hikes and fly more kites. I'd stop playing serious, and seriously play. I'd run through more fields and gaze at more stars. I'd do more hugging and less tugging. I would be firm less often, and affirm much more. I'd build self-esteem first, and the house later. I'd teach less about the love of power, and more about the power of love.

(Author: Diane Loomans)

Friendship

2004-09-13T17:32:00.000-04:00

Hello... I hope you’re all doing great. I read a message about friendship and I really liked it. Before I went to prison, I thought that I had many friends, but once in prison I realized that it wasn’t like that, being that almost all of them disappeared. I don’t really blame them, because they were “friends” of convenience or interest. I miss some of them, because I thought I had a good friendship with them, but as the saying goes: “life goes on.” Thanks God that the few friends I have left have made my path an easier one. I truly thank them.

I dedicate the following message to them, but especially to a very dear friend of mine, the one that if it wasn’t for my situation, I would have liked to be with her. But that’s another situation and I know that that’s what she’ll always be: a very dear friend. I won’t mention her name here, but she knows who she is.

Sincerely,

Pedro

Friendship Sets Us Free

Being friends is not “having” each other, it’s not possessing, it’s not dominating.

Being friends is counting on each other without schedules, restrictions, or obligations.

Beings friends is knowing that a unexpressed compromise already exists, simply made with the intuition of the heart.

Being friends is building a common ground over many shared things, of much intensity, of much affection throughout time.

Friendship is not a dream, it’s not just an ideal of youth.

It’s a reality if we want it to be that way and if we know how to recognize, appreciate and cultivate it.

Years may go by, distance in the maps may be greater, but the hearts of those who are our friends will always be near and in contact no matter what.

Because friendship is a force that, as time goes by, if we have really known how to build it, grows on its own, consolidates itself, increases, and the hug of two friends who find each other after years of not having seen each other, means so many things, like: “I know that you’ve always been there”, or “I never stopped remembering you.”

Friendship is an energy that flows between people and makes that two beings like you and me feel fulfilled and sure of having someone to count on, someone whose company comforts, whose memory strengthens.

Because a real friendship,

Sets Us Free.

A Mother's Love

2004-09-10T12:14:00.000-04:00

How are you? I hope that you’re all doing great and still enjoying this Blog. Today I would like to talk a bit about my mother. She’s a very special woman who does everything possible to sacrifice for her children. She’s a striver, decided, loving, intelligent, humble, sharing, in other words, she’s an incredible woman. I’m immensely thankful, being that she’s always been by my side in moments of happiness and sadness. And even more during the time I’ve been in prison, she’s always gone to visit me wherever I’ve been, no matter how far it is. She’s helped me so much, and there are no words to describe how thankful I am to her. I love her with all my soul and I’d like to tell her more often, but I haven’t done it as frequently as she deserves. But from now on, each time I see her or talk to her, I’ll tell her. Mom, I Love You. Big Kisses and Hugs. With Love, your son.

Sincerely,

Pedro

A Mother’s Love

Because you held me in your delicate arms with infinite tenderness. Because you tip-toed into my room at night to check if I was alright. Because even when you were tired, you played with me and checked my homework and read me bedtime stories. Because you kept me away from bad influences and, even though I didn’t understand it at that time, you pointed out when I acted badly. Because you celebrated my triumphs and cried my sadness. Because I never doubted your love and your protection. Because you taught me how to be a man. For your unconditional love... Thanks, Mom!

Hurricane Charley

2004-09-06T19:15:00.000-04:00

Hello friends... I hope that you’re all ok. I forgot to tell you about Hurricane Charley that visited Central Florida. Nothing happened here in prison. We didn’t even feel the hurricane when it went through, only some rain. They locked us in our rooms for about five hours, but because nothing happened, they let us out later. They do that as a security measure, but I consider it unnecessary. When they opened our doors, people ran for the telephone to call their relatives and find out if they were ok. I was one of them, but I couldn’t communicate, because no one answered at home. I was a bit worried, because my house was in the hurricane’s path. But I could finally reach them next day and everything was fine. Only two or three trees went down and some of the roof’s shingles.

Before I say good-bye, someone left a message for me in the Blog and didn’t leave his/her email so I could reply (wrote as anonymous). He/she asked me if what I wrote were stuff that happened to me or to someone else. What I write at the beginning of each entry is stuff from my daily life. The messages that follow are sometimes my inspirations, but mostly they are messages I’ve read and liked them so much that I wish to share them with those who read my Blog.

Well, this is all for now. Later.

Sincerely,

Pedro

The Gift

A bus was bumping along a back road in the South. In one seat, a wispy old man sat holding a bunch of fresh flowers. Across the aisle was a young girl whose eyes came back again and again to the man’s flowers. The time came for the old man to get off. Impulsively he thrust the flowers into the girl’s lap. “I can see you love the flowers”, he explained, “and I think my wife would like for you to have them. I’ll tell her I gave them to you.” The girl accepted the flowers with a happy smile and as the bus was leaving, she looked to the side and watched the old man get off the bus and walk through the gate of a small cemetery.

(Author: Bennet Cerf
From: “Chicken Soup for the Soul”)

Time Flies

2004-09-03T13:29:00.000-04:00

Hello and welcome to this Blog. I hope it still keeps bringing you a bit of hope in your lives. I was looking through my photo album and it really seems that time flies in them. I like looking at the album, because it brings many memories and nostalgia. I’ve seen my children grow up through them; I’ve seen my friends’ weddings, baptisms, sweet sixteens, parties, and much more. Sometimes I wish the photos would come to life, so I can live those happy moments with them. As I was saying, photos are memories that will always stay in my mind and heart. I thank my family and friends for all the photos they’ve sent me and will keep sending.

Yesterday I read something that got my attention and I wish to share it with you. I hope you like it, too.

Sincerely,

Pedro.

Two Nickels and Five Pennies

When an ice cream sundae cost much less, a boy entered a coffee shop and sat at a table. A waitress put a glass of water in front of him. "How much is an ice cream sundae?"
"Fifty cents," replied the waitress.
The little boy pulled his hand out of his pocket and studied a number of coins in it. "How much is a dish of plain ice cream?" he inquired.
Some people were now waiting for a table, and the waitress was impatient. "Thirty-five cents," she said angrily.
The little boy again counted the coins. "I'll have the plain ice cream."
The waitress brought the ice cream and walked away. The boy finished, paid the cashier, and departed. When the waitress came back, she swallowed hard at what she saw. There, placed neatly beside the empty dish, were two nickels and five pennies--her tip.

(Author Unknown)

Keep on Going

2004-08-30T12:51:00.000-04:00

Friends, I hope that you’re all doing great. Thanks for your support. Tomorrow it will be three months that I’ve been doing this Blog. It seems like only yesterday that I started it. I never hoped that this page would have such good acceptance, but now I see I was wrong. And I thank you with all my heart, one and a thousand times, for your comments and messages of support. I always try to answer your messages as soon as possible, being that I truly value the time you take to read my Blog. I would like to write back to all of you, but sometimes I get anonymous messages and I can’t answer them directly, but I thank them as well, being that you’re all showing me your support. Although I wonder a bit if it’s someone I know. Either way, I really thank you.

I wish I would write in this Blog every day, but it’s impossible for me to do that. What I do wish to do once I get out of here, is keep communicating better with you, being through letters, emails, phone or even chatting on the computer. Because every time you visit my Blog, for me it’s like you’re giving me a little push to keep going through this odyssey and that’s really important for me. Thanks again.

Follow Your Destiny Wherever it may Lead You

There’s a moment in life when you understand that it’s time to change and that if you don’t do it, nothing ever could change. You understand that if when you fail you have no courage to start again, life will carry on without you. Happiness doesn’t always accompany us and our life sometimes turns different that we imagined. Not always are our days going to bring what we hope for. Without understanding why, sometimes they take an unpredictable path that not even in your dreams they would have peered. But the same way, if you don’t encourage yourself to choose a path, or realize a dream, you’re in danger of wandering and getting lost. Better yet to ask yourself with much eagerness, why your life has become what it is now. Accept the open path that awaits you.

Forget about what used to be, don’t confuse yourself. That’s already happened. Only the present matters. The past is only and illusion and the future doesn’t exist yet. But we live in today. Measure your steps one by one. With your head up high, don’t fear to dream, or to look at the stars. A bit more patience, your hardiness will return and you’ll find your way. A path more beautiful and peaceful than you have imagined will take your wherever you want it lo lead you, fulfilling all your wishes. Don’t lose faith in your strength and take that new path. You’ll see that it’s full of happiness, adventures and delight, like you never imagined in your dreams.

(Author: Vicky Silvers)

Graduation (Non-Violence Program)

2004-08-27T13:57:00.000-04:00

Hello my friends. I hope that you’re all doing great as well as your family. I wish to thank everyone who has left messages and words of support for me. Things like these give me the strength to keep writing this Blog. Once again, thanks so much.

Last weekend was the graduation for the students of the Non-Violence Program. That day, speakers from different organizations, like: The Alternatives to Violence Group, Mothers with Sons in Jail, etc, are invited. Also, the grads may invite their relatives to the ceremony and share some time with them.

Happiness can be seen on the faces of the relatives when their sons, brothers, fathers, nephews, etc..., are called up front to receive their diplomas. They can see that we’re not here wasting our time; we’re trying to get ahead so that when we get our freedom, we can be someone of good.

Many of us who are in here have good families who worry about us and they hurt to see us go through this situation, even if they don’t want to show it in front of us for fear of us getting depressed.

This is all for today. Later.

Sincerely,

Pedrito

Be Strong, And Never Give Up

Remember... there is a deeper strength and an amazing abundance of peace available to you. Draw from this well; call on your faith to uphold you.

You will make it through any difficult time and find joy in life again. Life continues around us, even when our troubles seem to stop time.

There is good in life every day. Take a few minutes to distract yourself from your concerns – long enough to draw strength from a tree or to find pleasure in a bird's song.

Return a smile. Realize that life is a series of levels, cycles of ups and downs – some easy, some challenging. Through it all, we learn; we grow strong in faith; we mature in understanding.

The difficult times are often the best teachers, and there is good to be found in all
situations. Reach for the good. Be strong, and don't ever give up.

(Author: Pamela Owens Renfro)

The Best

2004-08-23T00:09:00.000-04:00

Hello friends! Thanks for your support. I really like Britney Spears’ new song (Everytime). In the song she says she feels lost without her wings (partner). If you have some time to listen to this song in detail, you’ll see how beautiful its lyrics are. And I know that at least one time in your lives you’ve felt this way. I say one time, but it could be a few times. It’s not easy at all to separate from the person you love, but sometimes, even if you don’t think of it that way, it’s the best for both. Well, here I leave you with a really beautiful and positive message.

Pedro

Do the Best You Can

When life seems to bring nothing but a string of defeats and disappointments, we’ve got to have faith that something good is still in store for us. With this faith we can forge ahead and continue to put forth our best effort. Without it, we give up and accept what comes our way, good or bad. Our precious dreams begin to seem absurdities.

It is imperative that we see ourselves as worthy and deserving of a good life. There may be rejections; it may take us a while; but as long as we stay in the game, there’s every chance we’ll score. On the sidelines, we can only watch as others do the work and the winning.

(Author: Eric V. Copage)

Another Course I'm Taking...

2004-08-20T11:12:00.000-04:00

Hello friends. I hope that you’re all doing great. I’ve started taking a course about the effects of drugs. It’s called: Drug Program of 40 hours. I thought it was going to be a boring class, but I was wrong, because it’s proved to be pleasant and fun. They’re on Mondays and Wednesdays, two hours each day and it lasts about three months. I’ve learned various things that I never imagined could be used as drugs. I won’t mention them, because I don’t wish that any minor who reads my Blog, starts experimenting with that. There are various types of drugs that could be purchased at any store. I was startled when the teacher showed us all those things. I’ve only taken four classes so far and I’ve liked them a lot.

The Four Agreements

1. Be impeccable with your word - Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

2. Don’t take anything personally - Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

3. Don’t make assumptions - Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

4. Always do your best - Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.

(Author: Don Miguel Ruiz)

Domestic Violence

2004-08-16T10:27:00.000-04:00

How are you? I hope you’re all doing great and enjoying this Blog, and I wish it’s of some encouragement to your daily lives. Today I was reading a message, which really got my attention, because what it says is a reality. It’s about domestic violence. I don’t support men who beat up women, I see it as very wrong. I can’t find a logical reason for a man to have the right to beat a woman. I’d rather end the relationship than lay a hand on her. I don’t know how there are still women out there who let their spouses do this to them. Perhaps because of fear, or their children or because of what others might think. I hope that if any woman who’s reading my Blog is going through this type of situation, that she arms herself with courage and takes the necessary action. Here you have the message I read and really impacted me. Thanks for your unconditional support and good luck in everything you do.

I Got Flowers Today

I got flowers today. It wasn’t my birthday or any other special day. We had our first argument last night, and he said a lot of cruel things that really hurt me. I know he is sorry and didn’t mean the things he said, because he sent me flowers today.

I got flowers today. It wasn’t our anniversary or any other special day. Last night, he threw me into a wall and started to choke me. It seemed like a nightmare, I couldn’t believe it was real. I woke up this morning sore and bruised all over. I know he must be sorry, because he sent me flowers today.

I got flowers today. And it’s not Valentine’s Day or any other special day. Last night he beat me and threatened to kill me. Not even make-up or long sleeves could hide the cuts and bruises he caused me this time. I couldn’t go to work today, because I didn’t want anyone to find out. But I know he must be sorry, because he sent me flowers today.

I got flowers today, and it wasn’t Mother’s Day or any other special day. Last night, he beat me up again and it was much worse than all the other times. If I leave him, what will I do? How will I take care of my kids? What about money? I’m afraid of him and scared to leave. But I know he must be sorry, because he sent me flowers today.

I got flowers today. Today was a very special day. It was the day of my funeral. Last night, he finally killed me; he beat me to death. If only I had gathered enough courage and strength to leave him; if I only I had accepted professional help. I would not have gotten flowers today.

(Author: Anonymous)

The Purpose of this Blog

2004-08-13T10:45:00.000-04:00

Hello. I’ve been thinking these last few days about this page... what makes me write it. When I decided to make this Blog was when my sister printed out and sent me various Blogs. When I read them, I liked them and thought I’d like to make one as well, but I didn’t know about what, being that there’s not much to tell from inside this prison. But one day as I was reading a book about inspirational stories, which gave me much encouragement, I decided that my Blog would be about positive and inspirational messages. And that’s how this page was born and I named it: Through the Walls, because it is from inside these walls that I’ll keep sending encouraging messages for all those who visit this Blog, hoping that they help you in one way or another.

Inspirational Messages

1. Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved. (Helen Keller)

2. Effort only fully releases its reward after a person refuses to quit. (Napoleon Hill)

3. History has demonstrated that the most notable winners usually encountered heartbreaking obstacles before they triumphed. They won because they refused to become discouraged by their defeats. (B. C. Forbes)

4. It is one of the most beautiful compensations of this life that no man can sincerely try to help another without helping himself. (Ralph Waldo Emerson)

5. The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams. (Anne Eleanor Roosevelt)

6. There comes that mysterious meeting in life when someone acknowledges who we are and what we can be, igniting the circuits of our highest potential. (Rusty Berkus)

7. A happy person is not anybody that is in a certain series of circumstances, but rather anybody that adopts a certain series of attitudes. (A 2nd Helping of Chicken Soup for the Soul. - Jack Canfield & Mark Victor Hansen)

8. The most beautiful and better things in the world, cannot be seen nor touched... but they’re felt in the heart. (Helen Adams Keller)

9. Sometimes our light goes out but is blown into flame by another human being. Each of us owes deepest thanks to those who have rekindled this light. (Albert Schweitzer)

10. Life is a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood. (Helen Keller)

11. The marvelous richness of human experience would lose something of rewarding joy if there were no limitations to overcome. The hilltop hour would not be half so wonderful if there were no dark valleys to traverse. (Helen Keller)

12. I am only one; but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something; I will not refuse to do something I can do. (Helen Keller)

13. Life is a song - sing it.
Life is a game - play it.
Life is a challenge - meet it.
Life is a dream - realize it.
Life is a sacrifice - offer it.
Life is love - enjoy it.
(Sai Baba)

Change

2004-08-09T11:02:00.000-04:00

How are you? I hope that you’re all doing great. I’m doing fine, although I was a bit sick last week. Well, a few days ago, a very good friend of mine wrote and told me that her boyfriend wishes her to change, attitude-wise, being that she doesn’t give her arm to twist. But honestly, I can’t understand, because she’s a real sweetie, and also a hard-worker, a struggler, good mother, good friend and all in all, she’s a wonderful person. I wrote her back and told her that in my opinion, she doesn’t need to change, but if she has to change, it has to be because she wants that change herself. And if he when he met her, accepted her like that, then he doesn’t need to complain now. Here’s something about that topic.

Bye.

Sincerely,

Pedro

Change

You cannot change other people. You love them the way they are or you don’t. You accept them the way they are or you don’t. But sometimes we try to change them; why can’t we allow a person to be itself and love them just the way that person is, without trying to change them? Sometimes we think, what if I am not with the right person? And what is the right person? Someone who wants to go in the same direction as you do, someone compatible with your views and your values. But the right person for you is the one you love just the way that person is, the one you don’t have the need to change at all. Because if someone wants to change you, it means you are not what that person wants.

What goes on in Here

2004-08-06T21:27:00.000-04:00

Welcome to this, your Blog. Today I will tell you about things in here, because I imagine that many people think, or at least, they have the wrong idea about prisons. Most people think that it’s like they see in the movies: a building with a few floors with lots of gates everywhere and that there’s much violece. Although I imagine that some prisons might be like that, the ones I’ve been in haven’t been like that. Like for example, this one seems like a small community.

For starters, we have a Vocational school where they have drafting, electricity, plumbing, building construction, computer and typing classes. Also, there’s the regular school where they teach English, Math, and G.E.D. courses. They have a very ample library and it has a law area. There’s a small store which has many products for sale. They have everything, from personal products to food. There’s a chappel for the different religion denominations, too. We have a barber shop and a laudry. And a medical and psychology area. We also have the visit salon for our relatives and loved ones. The dining room is huge and they have good food (sometimes). They have a furniture factory which employs people in this prison. And finally, we have the yard which is immense and it has basketball (3), handball (6), racquetball (1), paddleball (1) and volleyball (2) courts, baseball (2), soccer (1) and flag football (1) parks, and a track. Oh and there’s also an activity center with pool tables (4), stationery bikes and a few rooms to play musical instruments.

As you can see, it’s not too bad in here, but there’s nothing more precious than freedom and seeing my loved ones every day.

Sincerely,

Pedro

Prevail in every Aspect of your Life

People only obtain what they look for. Choose your ideals with care. Learn what you like and what you don’t like. Be critical with what you do well and with what you don’t do well. Choose a career or a lifestyle that interests you and work hard so that it is a success, but also enjoy what you do. Be honest with people and help with what you can, but don’t depend on someone to make your life easier or happier; only you can obtain this on your own. Be strong and decided, but stay sensible. Consider your family and the idea of a family, because that’s the foundation of security, support and love.

Understand what you are and what you want in life, before sharing it with someone. When you’re ready to begin a relationship, make sure that the person is worth in everything like you, physically and mentally. Fight to reach everything that you want. Find happiness in everything that you do. Love with all your being; love with an uninhibited soul. Prevail in every aspect of your life.

Visits

2004-08-02T11:32:00.000-04:00

Friends, I hope that you’re all well and thanks for your support and words of encouragement. I thank you with all my heart.

Yesterday, I went to my visit and I tell ya, I had a great time. My youngest son and my mother came to see me. I had so much fun with them. Also, there were a few of my cell mates with their respective families. Everyone enjoys their visits so much, especially me, because I feel as if I’m not in prison. The stress, worries and everything else, are forgotten while one is sharing with parents, sons, partner or simply friends. It’s like being in another world, as one enters the visiting room. Although at the time of saying good-bye it gets a bit saddening and one wishes to say so many things to the visits, and sometimes we forget to tell them how much we appreciate them having time for us. For example, I try to tell them how much I love them, because I don’t know if this will be the last time I see them, God forbid, but one never knows. I think that when a person is in prison or in a hospital, they know who are really their friends. If it weren’t for family or the few friends who write or visit, the time while in prison would be so lonely.

Bye.

Sincerely,

Pedro

You’ll Know

You will know of the pain of being alone and the pain of being with many.
You will know how dark the nights are and how long the days can be.
You will know of the hunger of the skin and the anguish of the spirit.
You will know of the treason of the loyal ones and the hard cruelty of the "perfect ones".
You will know of hoping without peace and waiting in fear.
You will know that it is already late and, in addition, almost impossible.
You will know that others do not understand and, in addition, they do not care.
You will know of the desertion of yours and the scorn of everyone.
You will know that will not be forgiven or be paid attention.
You will know that you are the last one and still less.

But also you will know:

That pain redeems,
That solitude cures,
That Faith grows,
That love helps,
That understanding encourages,
That hope maintains,
That forgetfulness mitigates,
That forgiveness fortifies,
That everything is in you
and HE is with you.

(Author: Pope John XXIII)

To Love an Inmate

2004-07-30T11:12:00.000-04:00

Hello, how are you? I hope that really well. Thanks for supporting this Blog.

It’s not easy to have a sentimental relationship with an inmate; it’s very hard. I say this because throughout the years, I’ve seen many couples separate, others have gone and come back, others have lasted, others have met an inmate and gotten married. But the fear of every inmate who has a partner, is that there will come a day when his partner will tell him: “No more”. I’ve seen the suffering of many of my cell mates and if I tell you that I haven’t gone through the same, I’d be lying. I honestly tell you that it hurts. Many tears will be shed, there’s suffering in silence and it’s not easy at all.

The causes for separation may be many: financial problems, confusion, meeting someone else, thinking it’s not worth it to wait, problems with relatives because of the relationship, lack of caresses, hugs, kisses or simply, the love is gone. But I’d rather they tell me things as they are, than to deceive me and let time go by, that when I feel most comfortable and happy with that person, everything starts to crumble down. What makes me real mad is that many couples break up and then they don’t even bring the kids to see the inmates. It’s not fair that the children pay for their parent’s problems, but this is what happens and it’s really sad. But I know, that to love an inmate is not easy at all.

Bye.

Sincerely,

Pedro

To Love an Inmate

Although loving an inmate is not always happy and doing it bears a high price, it’s loving them without having them close to hug them. It’s being so young and at the same time, so old. It’s writing them letters telling them you love them and through the visits, promising them that you’ll wait and deep inside they hold their faith. It’s watching them leave with their eyes full of tears and being alone with hope, dreams and fears. Sometimes they’re so close and at the same time, so far, but loving them more each day that goes bye. Weeks turn into months and months into years. To love an inmate is more than a dream, because loving them is not always easy, or even fun, but it’s worth it when time has finally gone by.

A Relationship

2004-07-26T12:00:00.000-04:00

Hello, welcome to this, your Blog. I hope that it’s been of help to you and that it brings at least a bit of happiness to your lives.

Today, I would like to ask you two questions and I would really like for you to send me messages with your opinions to these questions, if you wish. The first question is: How would you react if you find out that a loved one is with a convict?, and the second one is: If a close relative or a person close to you confessed to you that he/she is in love with someone who’s in prison or who has been in jail, what would you say and why?

Sincerely, I wouldn’t know how to answer these questions because I’m an inmate and I see this situation from a different point of view than many of you. But I will answer them from my point of view. (1) My reaction would be that of surprise, and I would ask them what has been the motive for such relationship. (2) I would ask them if he/she is sure of what they’re doing, being that many inmates only want to kill some time until they get out and then they don’t even want that person to get close to them. Also, I would ask them if they are truly in love with the inmate. I would tell them about my worries. I would ask them if they’re really willing to wait for them. I would ask them, what can the inmate offer her/him. I would tell them to weight the Pros and Cons as well, because it might be that everyone in his/her family won’t agree with that relationship, but also, the inmate might be just who will bring his/her heart true happiness – what’s been wished for and wanted for so long. I would want to meet this person (inmate) to see if they’re worth it, being that having committed mistakes, doesn’t mean that they’re not excellent human beings who can make someone happy. I would give them the chance to get to know me and prove that they’ll be someone of good when they get their freedom.

I say all these because I know that there are people who are or will be in a situation like this. And I know that they’ve been between a rock and a hard place, and they feel confused, depressed, and unmotivated because they don’t want to fail their relatives, or the person they love. On one hand they have their parents, brothers, friends telling them that the relationship isn’t worth it, but on the other hand, their heart is telling them to go ahead. I know it’s a difficult situation and that time and patience are needed to get to a happy ending with both parties.

Well, this is all for now. I hope that you’ve liked my answers and that you analize them well. I would really like to read your comments about this. Thanks for your support. See you later.

Sincerely,

Pedro

Disappointments in Life

The disappointments in life always bring a better tomorrow.

In life, although there will be pain and bitterness along the way, there’s always a deep happiness.

Although your world seems destroyed, take whatever good is left and keep going forward, because in some way your yearnings will be fulfilled.

Remember that in the end, the good and the bad will be compensated. Cry your tears, smile your smiles, but never, ever give up.

Remember that the strength is in you to believe that your dreams are always close, even though they seem to be so far away.

(Author: Linda Príncipe)

My Grandpa

2004-07-23T14:05:00.000-04:00

Hi, I’m truly thankful for your words of support and for visiting this page.

Do you remember that I once told you about my grandpa, who has Alzheimer? The other day, a doctor went over to his house to see him. He’s afraid of doctors and he doesn’t go to his appointments. This is the reason why the doctor had to go to his house pretending to be my grandma’s cousin. The doctor checked him and says that he’s in the third stage of the illness. He doesn’t recognize his sons and daughters, or his wife, only his brothers and sisters. I imagine how hard it must be to live in a world like that, where everything seems so strange. I know that it is also a bit hard for grandma, although when I call her, she doesn’t tell me so, but I know it’s because she doesn’t want to worry me. Like I wrote once before, I wish I could be with them and help them in everything I can, but sadly, I can’t. I only hope that they’re still alive when I get out of here, although I still have four and half more years so I can get my freedom. Bye for now.

Sincerely,

Pedro

Your Old Man

The day when this old man is not the same anymore, be patient and understand me. When I spill food on my shirt and forget how to tie my shoes, remember the hours I spent teaching you to do the same things.

If when I talk with you, I repeat and repeat the same words that you know too well how they end, don’t interrupt me and listen to me. When you were a kid, before you could go to sleep, I had to tell you the same story thousands of times... until you closed your little eyes.

When you see me useless and ignorant before all new technological things that I won’t be able to understand, I plead to you to give me all the necessary time so you don’t hurt me with your mocking laughter. Remember that it was me who taught you many things that used to surprise you. Eating, getting dressed and your education to go into life as well as you do, are products of my effort, love and perseverance for you.

If at any time I don’t want to eat, don’t insist. I know how much I can or should. Also, understand as time goes bye, I don’t have teeth to bite or much taste.

When my legs fail me for being too tired to walk, give me your gentle hand to support me, like I once did with you as you started walking with your weak little legs.

I always wanted the best for you and I’ve prepared the way that you’ve known how to take.

Give me your heart, understand and support me the same way I once did for you when your started your life.

The same way I’ve accompanied you in your way, I ask you to accompany me to finish mine. Give me love and patience and I will return to you, gratitude and smiles with the immense love that I have for you.

Your father...

Being Human

2004-07-19T09:59:00.000-04:00

How are you? I hope that great and especially, enjoying this summer. I’ve been trying to find a way today to start this page and I don’t know how. It’s that I’ve been feeling a bit “down” lately. I don’t know the reason, but I’ve felt this way. It may be because my sentence is getting a bit too heavy or that I’ve noticed that my sons are changing a little with me as the years go by. Perhaps it’s because I miss my family so much. I don’t know... it may be many things. Sometimes I feel sad, like a failure, defeated. I’ve never felt this way. I know it will come to pass, but for now, I feel like this.

Who would have thought that after all these years, it’s now that I feel like this. Maybe I’m looking at life in another way. Before, everything was a joke for me. It was all about having fun and didn’t take anything seriously. I didn’t think about the consequences of my actions. Now, in everything I do, I try to visualize the consequences, good or bad. My feelings have progressed; I value people more, situations that didn’t affect me before, now touch me deeply.

Sometimes I wish I could go to a country other than here, begin a new life where nobody knows me, and start a happy home, true and for the rest of my life. It may be that I’m being more human.

Well, this is all for now and thanks for your support.

Sincerely,

Pedro

The Rules for Being Human

1. You will receive a body. You may like it or hate it, but it will be yours for the entire period this time around.

2. You will learn lessons. You are enrolled in a full-time informal school called life. Each day in this school you will have the opportunity to learn what you most need to know. The lessons presented are often completely different from those you think you need.

3. There are no mistakes, only lessons. Growth is a process of trial and error, experimentation. The "failed" experiments are as much a part of the process as the experiment that ultimately "works". You learn as much from failure as you can from success.

4. A lesson is repeated until learned. A lesson will be presented to you in various forms until you have learned it. When you have learned it, (as evidenced by a change in your attitude and ultimately your behavior), you can go on to the next lesson.

5. Learning lessons does not end. There is no part of life that does not contain its lessons. If you are alive, there are additional lessons to be learned.

6. "There" is not better than "here". When your "there" has become a "here", you will simply obtain another "there" that will, again, look better than "here".

7. Others are merely mirrors of you. You cannot love or hate something about another person unless it reflects to you something you love or hate about yourself. When tempted to criticize others, ask yourself what behavior of yours they are mirroring.

8. What you make of life is up to you. You have all the tools and resources you need. What you create with them is up to you. Remember that through desires, goal-setting and right effort you can have anything you want, but not everything you want. Persistence is the key ingredient for success.

9. Your answers lie inside you. The answers to life's questions lie within you. All you need to do is ask, look, listen and trust.

10. You will forget all this. You will forget all the above rules unless you regularly practice some means of staying focused and grounded in the present. Your ego will continually try to trick you into blaming your past or becoming anxious about the realities of life.

(Author: Unknown)

Hope

2004-07-16T11:37:00.000-04:00

Hi, how are you? I hope that great. Thanks for all your support for this Blog and all the good comments you’ve made. I hope that my messages may help a little in your lives. Writing this Blog helps me a lot, because I can express how I’m feeling on the inside. It’s like a good therapy for me. And like I said, I hope that my message may bring a smile on your faces and that when you read them, you may find some relief in your daily lives.

When I’m writing this Blog, it’s like I’m forgetting that I’m in prison, because I do it with all my heart so you can see, that having committed a crime, does not mean that our lives are lost. On the contrary, this time I’ve been in prison has helped me set goals for the future and to dedicate more time for myself, either by getting more education, exercising, communicating or better yet, noticing who are those people who really care for me. Being that many time, when we were outside, we didn’t pay our loved ones the attention that they really deserved.

Well, this is all for now and if you have any questions or doubts about life in prison or any question about me, you can send it to me and I will gladly answer it. Thank you for opening your doors to this Blog. Take care.

Sincerely,

Pedro

Always Hope for the Best

Don’t let go of hope. Hope gives you the strength to keep going when you feel like giving up. Don’t ever quit believing in yourself. As long as you believe you can, you will have a reason for trying. Don’t let anyone hold your happiness in your hands; hold it in yours so it will always be within your reach.

Don't measure success or failure by material wealth, but by how you feel; our feelings determine the richness of our lives. Don't let bad moments overcome you; be patient, and they will pass.

Don't hesitate to reach out for help; we all need it from time to time. Don't run away from love but toward love, because it is our deepest joy. Don't wait for what you want to come to you. Go after it with all that you are, knowing that life will meet you halfway.

Don't feel like you've lost when plans and dreams fall short of your hopes. Anytime you learn something new about yourself or about life, you have progressed. Don't do anything that takes away from your self-respect. Feeling good about yourself is essential to feeling good about life.

Don't ever forget how to laugh or be too proud to cry. It is by doing both that we live to its fullest.

(Author: Nancye Sims)

Temper

2004-07-12T11:50:00.000-04:00

Welcome to this Blog. Thanks for visiting. Today I will tell you about how we treat each other in here. Although we all try to get along, due to the circumstances we’re in, we shouldn’t be mad at each other. But it isn’t always this way, because we’re not in the same mood every day and some jokes may be result annoying. Sometimes one gets tired of seeing the same people every day, although over here we make very good friendships that may last a lifetime.

At least, I am a person who tries to get along with everyone, even though I get mad at someone from time to time, but I don’t stay mad but for a few minutes. Because I think that feeling that way will not serve me well. So I always go and apologize to the person either for saying something insulting to them or for my attitude towards them. There haven’t been many times that this has happened to me, only a few, but I don’t like that for a silly thing, we stop talking or being friends. Like I said, it isn’t worth it. Because of the situation we’re in, what we should do is think before saying anything and set all our differences aside.

You should see why there’s arguing sometimes between friends... just because of silly things. Like for example, someone wants to watch a show on TV and another one wants to watch something else; or for politics; or a basketball game. So you see, we argue sometimes for things that aren’t worth it, and much less worth it to lose a friend over that. But generally, we all get along really well. We share much and treat each other like family.

Again, thanks for visiting this Blog. Take much care.

Sincerely,

Pedro

Nail in the Fence

There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His father gave him a bag of nails and told him, that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence. The first day, the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily, gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence.

Finally, the day came when the boy didn’t lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper. The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone. The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. He said, “You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. It won’t matter how many times you say I’m sorry, the would is still there.”

A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one. Friends are very rare jewels, indeed. They make you smile and encourage you to succeed. They lend an ear, they share words of praise and they always want to open their heart for us.

My Son

2004-07-09T11:11:00.000-04:00

First of all, I’d like to thank everyone who has visited my Blog. Thank you for your support and your words of encouragement. I’m eternally grateful. And I apologize with all my heart to those of you who’ve written to me and I’ve taken longer than I thought to get back to you... but soon, I will get in contact with you. You’re all great!

I want to share a letter that my youngest son wrote to me where he expresses what he feels about a comment I made to him, about me going to Puerto Rico once I get my freedom. From what I can see, he doesn’t want me to go over there.

Once again, thank you for your continuing support and for visiting my Blog. Take much care. Later.

Sincerely,

Pedro

Ps. In my son’s letter, he refers to my Mom as “Tata”, to my sister as “Titi Davaina” (“Titi” means auntie) and to her husband as “Teo Jamie” (he means by “Teo”, “tío” and that means uncle).

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My Son's Letter

My Son's Drawing

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Children Learn What They Live

If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn.

If children live with hostility, they learn to fight.

If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive.

If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves.

If children live with ridicule, they learn to be shy.

If children live with jealousy, they learn what envy is.

If children live with shame, they learn to feel guilty.

If children live with tolerance, they learn to be patient.

If children live with encouragement, they learn to be confident.

If children live with praise, they learn to appreciate.

If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves.

If children live with acceptance, they learn to find love in the world.

If children live with recognition, they learn to have a goal.

If children live with sharing, they learn to be generous.

If children live with honesty and fairness, they learn what truth and justice are.

If children live with security, they learn to have faith in themselves and in those around them.

If children live with friendliness, they learn that the world is a nice place in which to live.

If children live with serenity, they learn to have a piece of mind.

With what are your children living?

Alzheimer's

2004-07-05T13:00:00.000-04:00

Hello... first of all, I’d like to thank everyone who’s visited this Blog. I’m sincerely thankful.

I was reading the newspaper and I found an article that really called my attention - about Alzheimer- because my grandpa has that condition, and I want to know more about it. This condition is the most common type of dementia in people over the age of 65. It starts with short memory lapses. But in time, this loss of memory gets more severe and hinders the ability to do certain normal body functions and is why some fatal illnesses may attack more easily. People with this condition get paranoia, they’re afraid of almost everything, don’t recognize their close relatives or friends.

I remember a grandfather who was always happy, telling jokes, intelligent and lively. It is hard for me to believe, or accept, what is happening to him. Sometimes when I talk to him on the phone, I can’t hold back my tears because I notice how deteriorated he’s getting. And always, before ending our phone call, he asks me to bring him a gallon of milk. What wouldn’t I give to be able to bring him that gallon of milk and many more things.

I also imagine how hard this most be for my Grandma, battling with her husband’s condition, because she’s already older and has her ailments as well. The last time I talked to her, she told me that Grandpa wouldn’t get a haircut or go to the doctor, because he’s afraid of getting out of the house. I trust God will take care of both of them. Bye.

P.S.
Here is an article I read and really liked.

All I Remember

When my father spoke to me, he always began the conversation with “Have I told you yet today how much I adore you?”. The expression of love was reciprocated and, in his later years, as his life began to visibly end, we grew even closer... if that were possible.

At 82 he was ready to die, and I was ready to let him go so that his suffering would end. We laughed and cried, and held hands and told each other of our love and agreed that it was time. I said, “Dad, after you’ve gone, I want a sign from you that you’re fine”. He laughed at the absurdity of that; Dad didn’t believe in reincarnation. I wasn’t positive I did either, but I had had many experiences that convinced me I could get some signal from “the other side”.

My father and I were so deeply connected, I felt his heart attack in my chest at the moment he died. Later I mourned that the hospital, in their sterile wisdom, has not let me hold his hand as he had slipped away.

Day after day I prayed to hear from him, but nothing happened. Night after night I asked for a dream before I fell asleep. And yet, four long months passed and I heard and felt nothing but grief at his loss. Mother had died five years before, of Alzheimer’s, and though I had grown daughters of my own, I felt like a lost child.

One day, while I was lying on a massage table in a dark quiet room waiting for my appointment, a wave of longing for my father swept over me. I began to wonder if I had been too demanding in asking for a sign from him. I noticed that my mind was in a hyper-acute state. I experienced an unfamiliar clarity in which I could have added long columns of figures in my head. I checked to make sure I was awake and not dreaming, and I saw that I was as far removed from a dreamy state as one could possibly be. Each thought I had was like a drop of water disturbing a still pond, and I marveled at the peacefulness of each passing moment. Then I thought, “I’ve been trying to control the messages from the other side; I will stop tat now”.

Suddenly my mother’s face appeared – my mother, as she had been before Alzheimer’s disease had stripped her of her mind, her humanity and 50 pounds. Her magnificent silver hair crowned her sweet face. She was so real and so close, I felt I could reach out and touch her. She looked as she had, a dozen years ago, before the wasting away had begun. I even smelled the fragrance of Joy, her favorite perfume. She seemed to be waiting and did not speak. I wondered how it could happen that I was thinking of my father and my mother appeared, and I felt a little guilty that I had not asked for her as well.

I said, “Oh, Mother, I’m so sorry that you had to suffer with that horrible disease”.

She tipped her head slightly to one side, as though to acknowledge what I had said about her suffering. Then she smiled – a beautiful smile – and said very distinctly, “But all I remember is Love”. And she disappeared.

I began to shiver in a room suddenly gone cold, and I knew in my bones that the love we give and receive is all that matters and all that is remembered. Suffering disappears; love remains.

Her words are the most important I have ever heard, and that moment is forever engraved on my heart.

I have not yet seen or heard from my father, but I have no doubt that some day, when I least expect it, he will appear and say, “Have I told you yet today how much I love you?”

Alternatives to Violence

2004-07-02T11:59:00.000-04:00

Hi and thanks for visiting this Blog. Today I’d like to talk to you about the program (that I once talked to you about) that they bring here to the prison every two or three months. It’s called AVP (Alternative to Violence Program). It offers workshops that help people live a life without violence, through affirmation, respect for others, cooperation and trust. This program started back in 1975 in the prison system of New York. The first workshop was created at the Greenhaven prison, when a group of inmates felt the need to start a course to solve conflicts, in preparation for their roles as counselors for an experimental program in a juvenile institution. The inmates asked the Quaker’s local chapter to provide them with that course. From that prison, the program has extended to other prisons through the meetings of the Quaker.

The program is pleasant and fun. When I took it, I had a lot of fun, because we seemed like kids playing. I thought, what would our sons say if they saw us right now. The program is also offered outside of prison. If you have a chance to take it, I recommend it, because asides from having fun, you’ll learn a lot, as well as meeting new friends.

Here below’s a message I really liked. Hope you like it as well. Bye.

Your friend,

Pedro

The Island of Emotions

Once upon a time, there was an island where all the emotions lived: there was Happiness, Sadness and a lot more, including Love. One day, there was an announcement to all the inhabitants, that the island was going to sink. All the emotions got in their boats and got ready to leave, but the Love stayed, because it wanted to spend more time with the island it loved so much before it sank. When the Love was almost drowned, it started asking for help. The Love saw the Richness and asked: “Richness, take me with you?”. “I can’t”, replied the Richness, “I have a lot of gold and silver and I have no space for you”. Then the Love called to the Vanity who was passing by, saying: “Vanity, help me?”. “I can’t”, said the Vanity, “You’re all wet and if I take you, you are going to ruin my new boat”. Then the Love asked the Sadness for help: “Sadness, can I go with you?”... “Oh, Love! I’m so sad that I want to travel by myself”. The Happiness was sailing also, but it was so happy that it didn’t hear the Love when it was calling her. Desperate, the Love started to cry. That is when the Love heard a voice: “Come here Love, I’ll take you”. It was an old guy, but the Love was so happy, he forgot to ask the name of who was helping him. When the Love got to the new island, he asked the Wisdom: “Wisdom, who was the old guy who took me here?”... “It was the Time”, the Wisdom answered. “Time!... why was the Time the only one who wanted to save me?” The Wisdom answered: “Because Time is the only one capable of helping and understanding a great Love.”

Faith

2004-06-28T11:57:00.000-04:00

Hello.. I hope that you’re still liking my Blog and that you can get something positive out of the messages, for your daily life. Today I received a letter from Grandma, which always gets my spirits up, because she’s always positive and thinks of God before anything else. I only hope that God keeps her (and my Grandpa, who has Alzheimer) alive, during my last years in prison. Here I’ll write the letter I received from Grandma today. I wish that I could photocopy it, but it’s impossible for me at this time. So, I will try to write it, word for word. Take care and see you next time.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear grandson,

God bless you and give you health. Pedrito I Pray to God, that when you receive this short letter and always, you’re enjoying good health. I will tell you, that, Enrique, is still the same, isn’t getting better, but isn’t getting worse either. They tell me that, they get worse, these people, who get this illness. But, I, Pray and ask God, much, so that he, doesn’t get worse, because, this way, that he is, doesn’t give me too much work. And me, thank God, although I have my ailments, but God helps me so much, and I can do my housework, thank God. Imagine, that God, gave me the opportunity, to teach Catechism and I could, do it, very well, with the help of God and the coperation of other people who helped me a lot, they came for me here, to the entrance gate, and then they brought me back again, imagine, God did all this, because he loves us a lot, and never, fails us. I started on January of 2004, with 12 kids and finished, the 16th of May with 14, 7 boys and 7 girls, all of them received, their first Communion, imagine, all this, was, through the grace of God. Because you know, I am older, and also I’m handicapped, because of my left foot which is the one with the broken tendon, But with the help of God, everything, can be done, if we love him; and you know, very well, that my love of God, is over all things.

Changing the subject.

I will tell you, that the message, that you sent me in your card, is really pleasant, as in a soap opera, I thank you so much, and always ask God, to take care of you and the others, and soon, you all can, accomplish your good, wishes, now I tell you until the next one if God permits, I hope, I can send you, something as a gift for Father’s Day, if God permits as always in a money order.

Your Grandma, who never forgets you, with all my heart, for you and your pals, my blessing to all with all my love. From your Grandma and mom,

Toñita.

Ps. The letter has orthographic mistakes, but this is how Grandma writes and I wanted to write it exactly as she wrote it.

Message for the Soul

Maybe God wanted us to meet the wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when we finally met the right person, we will know how to be grateful for that gift. Maybe when the door of happiness closes, another opens, but often times we look so long at the closed door that we don’t see the one which has been opened for us. Maybe the best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch and swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you’ve ever had. Maybe it is true that we don’t know what we have until it’s gone, but maybe it is also true that we don’t know what we have been missing until it arrives.

Giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they will love you back. Don’t expect love in return, just wait for it to grow in their heart; but if it doesn’t, be content it grew in yours. It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone, an hour to like someone, and a day to love someone, but it takes a lifetime to forget someone. Don’t go for looks; they can deceive. Don’t go for wealth; even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright. Find the one that makes your heart smile.

There are moments in life when you miss someone so much, that you just want to pick them from your dreams and hug them for real. Dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go; be what you want to be, because you only have one life and one chance to do all the things you want to do. May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, enough hope to make you happy. Always put yourself in others’ shoes. If you feel that it hurts you, it probably hurts the other person, too.

The happiest people don’t necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way. Happiness lies for those who cry, those who hurt, those who have searched, and those who have tried, for only they can appreciate the importance of people who have touched their lives.

Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a tear. The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past. You can’t go on well in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches. When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. Live your life so that when you die, you are the one who is smiling, and everyone around you is crying.

Don't Give Up

2004-06-25T12:03:00.000-04:00

Hello, thanks for supporting this Blog. I’m a bit tired because I had a basketball game. And it was really grueling, both physically and mentally, because we lost and I don’t like losing. When there were only a few minutes to finish the game and we were losing by six, I got disillusioned and gave up. It was a game we weren’t supposed to lose, being that we are a very coupled team.

As I was saying, I gave up and I don’t know why because I’m not like that. I always give my best. Perhaps, for that reason, I felt that way, because I saw that the rest of my team weren’t giving their best. Although at the end we gave a little effort, but still... we lost by three. After the game, I said to myself: “This will never happen again; I will not give up anymore.” This is all for now, bye.

Don’t Give Up

Don’t give up! There may be times when you feel as if you have taken a million steps towards your dream, and acted on your plans, only to find yourself in the same place that you began. At a time like this, you must not give up.

When you feels as if all that you have strived after and worked for has failed, you must continue on, though you feel lost, bewildered and alone, continue to believe in yourself. If you allow discouragement and doubt to blur your vision and wash away your dream, then you will be left with nothing. Visualize your way beyond the detours, stand-stills and obstacles.

You will realize your dreams. When someone has worked as hard as you have, and have taken so many productive steps, they will succeed. Whatever the setback is at the moment, it will pass. Tomorrow is always a new dawn. Today you must pause, catch your breath and look ahead. Each step will bring you closer to your dreams.

Being Positive

2004-06-21T10:36:00.000-04:00

How are you doing? I hope that great. I’m doing fine, although a bit sleepy since it’s already 1:15 a.m. I’m in the Television room and there’s nothing good to watch. I thought that they were going to air a good movie at 1:00 a.m. and when the guard open the door, I decided to stay. Now I’ll have to wait until 2:00 a.m. when they open the door once again, so I can go to sleep. Thank God that tomorrow (I mean, today, being that it’s past midnight) I don’t have to wake up early.

Sometimes when I stay awake until really late, I start wondering about what the future holds for me. I think about my goals, achievements, dreams and things like that. I desire so much to be successful after I leave this place. I would like to start a business and that it goes well, so that my family can do well economically. I know that I will make it because I’m really persevering and I’m not afraid of failure. I only hope that it won’t be too hard. As I read in a magazine and it went like this: “If fear to failure or someone’s opinion paralyzes you, remember that the only failure consists in letting oneself give up, and that the opinion of others doesn’t have any power over you, unless you allow it. Don’t let fear paralyze you. Remember that the only failure is not trying. Keep going every day, no matter what your internal voice tells you. If it’s a negative message, tell it to be quiet! Show it who’s in control and keep going until you reach your goal. If you keep going toward your dreams with humbleness and perseverance, you will reach them. If the dream is beautiful, if it’s worth it and you really desire it with all your heart, learn to see each obstacle as another step, not as an impediment.”

This is all for now. Thanks for visiting this Blog. Later.

Here are a few thoughts.

Sincerely,

Pedro

Positive Thoughts

~ The only way we can get where we’re going is to do what needs to be done to get there.

~ Sometimes, unjust situations will change for the better.

~ It’s amazing how much we have to know before we realize how little we know.

~ Some people succeed because they’re destined to, but most people succeed because they’re determined to.

~ The best way to make it through a battle is to focus on the outcome.

~ In the middle of difficulties, lies opportunities.

~ The smallest deeds are better than the greatest intentions.

~ Failure is just a stepping stone to realize success.

~ Great opportunities come to those who make the most out of the small ones.

~ It’s amazing what you can accomplish if you don’t care who gets the credit.

~ Personality has the power to open doors, but it is character that keeps them open.

~ What tomorrow holds, depends on what you do today.

~ I can give you a fish which will feed you for a night, but if I teach you how to fish, that will feed you for the rest of your life.

Subscription to this Blog

2004-06-19T17:40:00.000-04:00

Hello there... I've changed the link to subscribe to this blog. And instead of Bloglet, it's Notifylist.com . I've updated the link on the sidebar. I had to change it cause I couldn't configure the other one. Thank you for your patience.

Sincerely,

Pedro

Calls

2004-06-18T11:22:00.000-04:00

Hi! I’m feeling somewhat desperate today, because I don’t have any more minutes left on my telephone account. We only have access to 300 minutes a month, which sincerely, aren’t enough. Each phone call is programmed to last 15 minutes max. With the 300 minutes, we can only make 20 calls of 15 minutes each. It’s up to us how to play with the minutes so they will last the whole month. I’m always short of minutes and sometimes I get frustrated, but what can I do? There are a few people that I need to call every month, which seems impossible: my sons, my mom, my family and my best friends. And when I’m left without minutes, whatever day of the month, I have to wait until the 1st day of the next month when they give me access to my next 300 minutes, and then start the same dilemma of every month.

Sincerely,

Pedro

Ps. Happy Father’s Day!

Telephone Father

I call them as often as possible to see how they are doing and to make sure they are safe. Like me, those behind bars pay a heavy price, but it’s the children of prisoners who are punished most severely. From the recesses of my soul, I hear my boys cry out, “Please, hurry home, Daddy.” They used to ask, “When are you coming home?” all the time and I would hurry and change the subject. Now, years later, they have stopped asking and I’m glad for it. I can’t give them the answer they so want to hear, and it hurts me so much. I’ve considered severing all ties with them, but when I talk to them, I hear the happiness in their voices and I know I can’t. God only knows how much I miss them, so I continue to be the best telephone father I can be.

Freedom

2004-06-14T12:40:00.000-04:00

Hi there. I hope that you and your loved ones are doing great.

Today, one of my cell mates left this place, in freedom. This is something that always makes me happy, because there’s nothing more beautiful than being able to enjoy freedom. I know that many will think that if someone commits a crime, that they have to pay the consequences, and they’re right. But there are many people in jail who are innocent or that they’ve been sentenced to more years than they really deserve. Anyway, as I was saying... sometimes I wonder, what would be my reaction the day I start going out the door, to my freedom? Will I feel happiness, fear, sadness or something else? I know that I would have to feel really happy that I’m finally going to be able to enjoy my family, but I will leave thinking about the friends that are still behind bars. It may be hard to believe, but in here one’s able to start friendships which are good and true. Not everyone’s like this, but some are. Although, it’s only a few who once they leave this place, write a letter to find out about the well-being of those people they left behind.

I also wonder if those who are free now, are doing things right. Being that this is a really big experience and one learns many things. If one gets out of here with the same mentality as when we got in, sadly, we will end up in jail. And in all the years I’ve been imprisoned, I’ve seen a few come back and with longer sentences than the one before. Even though being in prison is something negative, one can take advantage of it because there are many things to learn. It can be in the Vocational School or in the different workshops they offer in here. From a negative experience can come out something positive. At least, this is what I personally think. I’m not going to give my family any more suffering. They don’t deserve it. They educated me well enough and I failed them.

This is all for now. Here’s another short message which reflects the way I feel for my sons, and I know that the other fathers who are imprisoned feel the same way. Ever since I read it, I liked it and I wanted to share it with all of you.

Father at a Distance

I never thought that my sons would be nurtured and loved by me, their father... at a distance.

I never dreamed that I would be jealous of others, because...

I’m a father at a distance.

I never thought that as my children grew, my picture would be hanging on their walls, because...

I’m a father at a distance.

I never thought I would feel lack of control, lack of power over the life of my sons, because...

I’m a father at a distance.

I never thought that the moments I spend with my sons would be monitored with time limits placed upon us, because...

I’m a father at a distance.

I never thought I would become stuck in the past, just to give my mind relief, because...

I’m a father at a distance.

I guess one would say, “What eases the suffering, this pain, this mental anguish?”

I’m a father at a distance.

Thanks to God who maintains a strong bond between my sons and me, and soothes my pain, because...

I’m a father at a distance.

Violence

2004-06-11T12:38:00.000-04:00

Hello, I hope you’re all doing great. Here we have a program called The Non-Violence Outreach Program, which was founded by different inmates, with the objective of helping find other alternatives to the problems we face, instead of resorting to violence. The program is fun and pleasant; it has dynamics, games, talks and many more things. I’m one of the facilitators (teachers), even though I’m a bit self-conscious while addressing other people. But, little by little, I’m doing better. Some other time I will tell you more about the program so that you can appreciate it better, being that they want the program to start in the community. It’s something similar to A.V.P. (Alternative Violence Program) which is already in progress and with much success.

Here’s another short story and it’s about some very important people in our lives.

Later!

That Angel

There’s a story about a child, soon to be born, who asks God:
- “You’re sending me to the world tomorrow. But, how will I live there, being so weak and small?”
- “Among many angels, I chose one who’s waiting for you”, answered God.
- “But here in Heaven, I’m always singing and smiling, and that’s enough for my happiness. Will I be able to do it over there?”
- “That angel will sing to you and will make you smile every day and you will feel very happy with its songs and smiles.”
- “And, how will I understand when they talk to me, if I don’t understand the strange language of Man?”
- “That angel will talk to you and will teach you the sweetest and kindest words that humans have heard.”
- “What will I do when I want to speak with you?”
- “That angel will put your tiny hands together and teach you to pray.”
- “I’ve heard that there are many bad people in the world. Who will defend me?”
- “That angel will defend you with its life.”
- “But I’ll always be sad because I won’t see you anymore, Lord. Without seeing you, I will feel really alone.”
- “That angel will talk to you about me and will teach you the way to come back to my presence”, said God.
In that instant, an immense peace came over Heaven. No earthly voices were heard. The child said softly: “What’s its name, Lord?” and God answered: “That angel is called: Mom”.

Hello

2004-06-07T08:35:00.000-04:00

How are you guys doing? I hope you’re all fine and enjoying this Blog. Being that we had Mother’s Day last month, I’d like to congratulate all the mothers in the world. Especially, my mom, Annie; my grandma, Toñita; my aunt, Glorín; my sister, Sheylla; Aunt Zory and all my friends who are moms. And last, but not least, to all the moms who are in prison at the moment. May all your hopes, goals, and dreams come true.

Going through old papers, I found a beautiful story about moms that I’d like to share with you now. Here it is!

Sincerely,

P.M.

Why Mothers Cry

“Why are you crying?”, he asked his mom.
“Because I’m a mother”, she told him.
“I don’t understand”, he said.
His mom just hugged him and said, “You never will”.
Later, the little boy asked his father why his mother seemed to cry for no reason.
“All mothers cry for no reason”, was all his dad could say.
The little boy grew up and became a man, still wondering why mothers cry.

So, he finally put a call to God, and when God got on the phone, the man said, “God, why do mothers cry so easily?” God said, “You see son, when I made mothers, they had to be special. I made their shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world, yet gentle enough to give comfort. I gave them an inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection that many times comes from their children. I gave them a hardiness that allows them to keep going when everyone else gives up, and to take care of their families, through sickness and fatigue, without complaining. I gave them the sensitivity to love their children under all circumstances, even when their child has hurt them badly. This same sensitivity helps them make a child’s boo-boo feel better and helps them share a teenager’s anxiety and fears. I gave them a tear to shed. It’s theirs exclusively to use whenever it’s needed. It’s their only weakness. It’s a tear for mankind.

The Daily Routine

2004-06-04T03:47:00.000-04:00

Hi, welcome to the Blog, Through the Walls. Today I will tell you a little bit about daily life here, which is pretty much the same every day, with the exception of a few things.

First, the guard opens the cells at 5:30 a.m. so that the inmates who are gonna get breakfast, start getting ready, because at 6:00 a.m. the chow hall opens until 7:00 a.m. At 7:30 a.m., they make the Work Call for those who have to work or study. Then, at every hour, they call the Five Minute Move in which you have from five to ten minutes to go to different places in the prison, like: the yard, the library, the medical area, the psychology area and so on. Where one goes is where we have to stay until the next Movement. At 10:00 a.m., they call the last morning Movement - Recall. In this Movement, everyone has to go back to their respective units until it’s each of our unit’s turn to go to lunch, which varies every week (depending on how the unit does - in terms of cleanliness - on it’s inspection days (1-12). Lunch starts at 10:30 a.m. and ends at 12:30 p.m., although it ends a bit later on occasion. Other times, it ends a bit earlier (depending on what’s on the menu).

Later on, there’s another Work Call (12:35 p.m.) and then, they keep calling the Movements every hour until 3:20 p.m. - when they do another Recall, because there’s a countdown at 4:00 p.m. From 4:30 to 5:00 p.m. they call a Movement for those going to the yard, who are not going to eat dinner. After this Movement, they start calling the units, by turn, to go to eat. Everything is the same as in the morning, until 8:20 p.m. which is when they do a Recall once again for the 9:00 p.m. countdown. After this countdown, you have to stay in your unit, either watching TV, talking on the phone, writing or whatever. Finally, at 11:30 p.m., it’s time to lock yourself in you room until the next day. And the same routine starts all over again.

This has been a short summary of what we do here daily. There are still many things to talk about, but I’ll leave them for another time. In here one learns to value many things. It’s like being in school; one learns a lot.

Thanks for visiting this site. Goodbye for now and I leave you with a message.

Sincerely,

P.M.

Things I’ve Learned

I’ve learned;
That you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.

I’ve learned;
That it’s taking me a long time to become the person that I want to be.

I’ve learned;
That you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.

I’ve learned;
That you can keep going long after you can’t.

I’ve learned;
That we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.

I’ve learned;
That either you control your attitude, or it controls you.

I’ve learned;
That regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be something else to take its place.

I’ve learned;
That heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.

I’ve learned;
That money is a lousy way of keeping score.

I’ve learned;
That my best friend and I can do anything and nothing and still have a good time.

I’ve learned;
That sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you’re down, will be the ones to help you get back up.

I’ve learned;
That sometimes when I’m angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn’t give me the right to be cruel.

I’ve learned;
That true friendship continues to grow even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.

I’ve learned;
That just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to, doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have.

I’ve learned;
That maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you’ve had and what you’ve learned from them; and less to do with how many birthdays you’ve celebrated.

I’ve learned;
That no matter how good a friend is, they’re going to hurt you every once in a while; and you must forgive them for that.

I’ve learned;
That it isn’t always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.

I’ve learned;
That no matter how bad your heart is broken, the world doesn’t stop for your grief.

I’ve learned;
That our backgrounds and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.

I’ve learned;
That just because two people argue, doesn’t mean that they don’t love each other; and just because they don’t argue, doesn’t mean they do.

I’ve learned;
That we don’t have to change friends, if we understand that friends change.

I’ve learned;
That you shouldn’t be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever.

I’ve learned;
That two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.

I’ve learned;
That your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don’t even know you.

I’ve learned;
That even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out for you, you will find the strength to help.

I’ve learned;
That credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.

I’ve learned;
That people you care about the most in life are taken away from you too soon.

Through the Walls

2004-05-31T15:44:00.000-04:00

Hi, welcome to this Blog and thank you for visiting. To begin with, my name is Pedro. I’m a Federal Prison Inmate, serving time in Florida. I started this site because I want people to understand that we (the inmates) are more than just a number. We are human beings, too. Not all of us are bad, like the judicial system and most people in this society think. We just made a mistake and we are paying for it.

I also made this page, because it’s a way for me to vent or to express the personal thoughts and feelings that I constantly have. And to let out all my frustration, ideas, happiness, sadness, etc. It’s a way for me to talk about my experience with incarceration from my physical and emotional point of view; and to try to help other people from making the same mistakes I did.

This Blog will contain: Thoughts, Poetry, Writings, Short stories, some Photographs, Newspaper articles, etc. Sometimes the Thoughts and Poetry are from my own inspiration, but most of it will be from articles I’ve read and collected through the years.

What’s written here is honest and real, and perhaps, at times, a bit overdramatic; but that’s how I am sometimes.

There will be a Guestbook you can sign if you want to say something. Also, you guys can email me and I will respond, not right away, because my situation doesn’t allow me; but I will reply. This page will appear on Mondays and Fridays.

I hope you guys out there will enjoy this Blog and can learn and understand a little bit more about us (the inmates).

Thanks again for visiting this site and I’ll let you guys go with this thought. I hope you guys like it.

Sincerely,

Pedro

The Truth About Us

The truth about us is that we’ve been in jail. Some of us many times, some only once. We might as well go ahead and say that first ‘cause most of you think that’s who we are before anything else.

The truth about us is most of us have been addicted to drugs, sex or alcohol and did just about anything we could to make a buy.

Yeah, the truth about us is some of us stole money, wrote bad checks, sold drugs and a few of us have hurt other people in a blackout rage, but mainly, we take it out on ourselves.

That’s the truth about us. Most people stop right here and decide that they already know all they need to know of the truth about us. But there are a few of you out there who see a deeper truth and we hope you keep listening.

The truth about us is that we’re men, fathers, brothers, sons, husbands and partners. We miss our kids and our families. We cry at night, and we wonder what’s happening back at home.

That’s the truth about us.

The truth about us is that we’re scared and confused, and angry and sad, and lonely and desperate. We don’t know how to be in a relationship that’s good - whatever that is - but we’re really good at taking care of other people. We don’t know a lot about boundaries - we’ll trust everybody, but we really don’t trust anybody.

That’s the truth about us.

The truth about us is that we’re hopeful and eager, and creative - we can learn. We’re artists and writers and poets. We get depressed and we have nightmares. We know how to act real tough. We cry a lot. We sometimes get confused about whether it is today or a long time ago. We can’t remember a lot about being kids. We remember a lot about being belittled, about being beaten and stabbed by people we trusted. We’ve kept secrets.

That’s the truth about us.

The truth about us is that we don’t know how to ask for help, but we do know the faces and names of the people who treat us with respect. We can tell when you really don’t want us around. We can tell when you really care. We are survivors in this road we’re walking.

That’s the truth about us.